다.

On the Superiority of the White American

my birth mother gave me this necklace
the last time i saw her
when we were moving out of 서울시 back in 2018
i wore it for a minute
when we were in aotearoa for a minute
but i already had a necklace that i never took off
so i packed it away
until today
when i decided that i'd start wearing it
cause i'd sorta retired the spinel
(after it made sporadic, sputtered appearances off and on my neck all of last year)
and then i realized that i wanted to take a pic of myself in this old/new necklace
cause i haven't really worn it
and also so that i could write this post about it
and bring up the fact that i'm an adoptee
yet again
*yawn*
and in so doing
i would be able to bring up the reason why i have yet to "say anything"
with regards to the "state of the world"
and by "world"
white-americans mean
"the united states of america"

the reason why i find myself with nothing to say is because ::
a) i grew up in a place where "illegal immigrants" were the norm
b) i am not an immigrant; i am an adoptee,
and so my globeaux perspective is not one built on immigration,
and yet, i am familiar with what it's like to be treated as an "other,"
nevertheless,
i have also grown up with privileges typically doled out to only those who are "white."

a) i was raised in a little town in the roaring fork valley within the mountains of colorado where
"illegal immigrants" were a heavily relied upon jobforce
and these "illegal" jobbers came from all over the world
"they" were everywhere
and "they" were deported
frequently
only to return
lol
because the place where i grew up
was a seasonal hot-spot
and i was adopted into a white-family home that raised me in this place
and in this white-family home
someone being mexican was whispered
and if i described a classmate as mexican
i was told to "shush! don't call them that."

same for the bodybuddy/lifemate.
same for probably most of my peers from colorado at this time.

the high school senior year book has a literal separate section for the latino students
literally
two complete year books in one
*vomits*

i think it made the white people
feel good
about their "position" in this life

b) i attended baylor university in waco
texas
my freshman year of college
and i submitted my dorm selection in order of preference
and i got my first-pick dorm
and after a week or two of getting a lay of the land
i met exactly three other asians and one black student
everyone else was white
three of us asians were korean-adoptees
which means that we had white names on our applications
and the other two not-white students were
apparently
the black/asian tokens
i
obviously
had no idea what was happening until i arrived at my first korean-language class
(my choice for foreign language credits, lol)
and a lot of korean-americans were in this class, lol
and they all lived in the same dorm
a shitty dorm
(i don't actually know if it's "shitty," cause i never saw it on the inside; it's what i was told, etc.)
at the far end of campus
the shitty dorm
where all of the globeaux students all lived
together

also
it seems like mostly city-dwelling libtards
who are irate
like
it's almost as if these city-dwelling libtards had no idea that anything like what's going on now
was ever going on
here
on Empire
and it's almost like they're clueless about how living here
on Empire
"illegally"
is risky
so risky
in fact
that people
families
entire populations of people risk their lives
to get here
and yea
it's not fair that some people can get here easily
while others suffer and struggle
it's not fair that some children are dragged here
at an age too young to know what's happening to them
it's not fair that Elitism is a thing
it's not fair
but fairness has never been part of any of this

from my point of view
which is arbitrary and "from the outside"
none of this is new
and if you think that the violence is new
it's not
past presidents simply had a lot more tact

but white people have really never cared about reform or issues regarding immigration
until now
as it pertains to their chosen white-image
and the way that it looks against the current alternative white-image

it serves these types well
to be pro-immigration
rn

and in the context of human history
well
it's textbook

and so
if you're upset that i have not "spoken up" about the "state of the world"
what is it that you would like for me to say?
i'm not surprised?
what an atrocity?
stop it, guys?
justice for fill-in-the-blank?

if you do not understand what's happening
now
and how it differs from police brutality
which i've seen morphed into "polICE brutality"
*ugh*
then you're sorta part of the problem

you're what's called a non-reader.

"
first as tragedy
then as farce
"

and yea
things are going to get markedly worse
before they get better
but this has literally been the messaging since
like
the dawn of this century

so if you're the "losing sleep" over this shit
type
pick up a book about history
and fucking read it
you'll feel better
i promise

and if you're the
"none of this is about me! i'm irate for thhheeeeehhhm!"
type
well
i have some sour news for you
cause
it is literally your fault
that you haven't done enough
or anything
(amirite)
for immigration-reform
on Empire

the world cannot be something other than what it is

and it is your responsibility to understand what it is that the world is

and with that knowledge and understanding

you become part of the world

not a judge

not a participant

not an other

not less-than human

not even human-human

but rather

a part

one singular

meaningless part

of a larger whole

that belongs within

all of this

everything

the world

ALL of LIFE

no one is well

unless ALL is well

다.