a menstruation, mail, &musubi monday w/michelle obama

NOT a library loaner
sorry library
i paid big money for this one

[there will obviously be a Full Feature when i finish the book]

Shut up, Lingerer!

Metal Ox sits back deep on her haunches, "Shut up, Lady."

Walking casually on the ground toward her, "What's the matter?" Ladybug asks, "Why the haunches?"

"What do you mean why?" Metal Ox groans.

Ladybug flops to the ground, exhausted, all six legs splayed out around him, chin resting on the ground, his head bobbing up with every syllable, "What's She done to make you sit on your haunches, Ox?"

"She told us that we were doing 'The Dream'!" Metal Ox shouts.

"You are doing 'The Dream', Ox," Ladybug mimics.

"No." Metal Ox sinks deeper down onto her haunches.

Ladybug laments, "It could take me all year to guess, and you've had us in this holding pattern for months now, as it is. Please, dah-ling, please tell us what's the matter, so that She can deal with it, and then, we can get on with it. Please," Ladybug begs, on all twos, all fours pleading like a weak beggar. 

"She promised no more school! She promised The Dream! We're living my dream, and it was never my dream to make clothes! That's her dream!" Metal Ox finally screams, out of breath, furious.

Ladybug's blown back at Metal Ox's fury, shakes himself off, and with a huff, "Okay, jesus-fucking-christ, relax!"

Ladybug buzzes on over to her, and She swats him away, "---eee" rides on the air.

"Lady!" She shouts as She searches around herself for any sight of Ladybug.

Ladybug buzzes back to her, "You knew I was just over there," he points as he catches his breath.

"Sorry, Lady," She exhales.

"It's okay," Ladybug consoles as he flies up to her shoulder and takes a seat, "So I know what's up with the Ox," he begins.

"What now?" She inquires, halfheartedly.

"Well, according to her, this is not her dream," Ladybug explains.

She ponders this. 

Squirrel loads her another bowl.

She ponders more.

"Tiny Totes, Tiff's T-bags," She whispers.

Ladybug opens a photograph and shows it to her.

"Fuck," She exhales as she hangs her head, "The Ox is fucking right. We're gonna have to go through Tiny Totes Town. This is, in fact, our next destination."

"Well no wonder the road to the Listmaker's Ranch eluded us so," Ladybug shouts like a medieval warrior.

"The fuck, Lady?" She scoffs. 

"What? We didn't know where we were supposed to go next," Ladybug shrugs.

"Well now we fucking do," She stands, frustrated, relieved, aligning toward the heading, "Come on you stubborn motherfucker! You happy now? We're fucking going to fucking Tiny Totes Town!" She shouts loud enough for Metal Ox to hear. She rolls her eyes, "Thanks. Lady."

"What? You wanna be stuck here for more time?" Ladybug asks, seriously. 

"No. I'm ready to get on with it, but there? Why?" She slumps.

"You're living her dream, and before she wanted to make clothes, she wanted to make bags, remember? And it was that girl who got us here," Ladybug remarks, offhandedly, while attending the wing that refuses to fold properly after She smacked him against a wall earlier in "today," remember that?

"Shut up, Lingerer," Ladybug spits while tending to his wing.

"Ugh. I know you're right," She slumps even slumpier this time; "To Tiny Totes Town," She excitedly exclaims, feigned. 

And even though Metal Ox knows that She's being a cunt by rolling her eyes at her she happily thinks to herself, "If I don't make her see this now, it'll come up later."

And She and Ladybug shout in unison, "Shut the fuck up, Lingerer, like, NOW!"

it's true
teenaged tiffany wanted nothing more than to make tiny totes
&when i stopped sewing
about three weeks ago
unable to get back into it
i had to figure out what the fuck was going on
&figure it out we did
&so
we are going to have to take this detour
through Tiny Totes Town
(or as the bodybuddy/lifemate says, "Toteston, you know, like Downton,"
but i am not a british cunt
for i am an american cunt
and thank the good lord Lady
that i am not a british cunt
cause
leave it up to the britons
to figure out the most sinister way
to publicly lynch a black man
without a single trace back to a single individual
cause he was awarded his position
by committee
this is some stone-cold supremacy shit
&yet
nobody seems to really want to speak to it in this light
but just think about it
for one goddamn minute
&you'll realize
that that killing of that professor
was an orchestrated lynching
&if you do not want to accept that these are the lengths
that racist-fucking supremacist britons will go
to send a message
think again)
in order to successfully make it to our desired destination
Designville
&we're all on this ride
together
so no
i do not know how many fucking totes it will take
to satisfy this motherfucker

it's my new "bag" bag
we take all of these shapes/sizes
of reusable bags
to the store with us every time we shop:
one super-extra large
one regular-sized grocery bag
(the size of a brown paper bag)
one "fabric" plastic bag
&one smaller but heavy-duty bag
(for like milk cartons &beer packs)
&i was using a free little plastic thing
&now i get to use this!

aching for The Embers
like my life depends on it
&also
terrified
cause like
what the fuck
this has been one insane year
so far
&for me
The Embers
is when it all starts to "get started"
so i'm holding on for dear life
over here
y'all
*sighs*

hang in there
^..^

the current combi
which means that it's about to change
lol
i wonder what it'll be

[end note]

&if you think that it's just like

so weird

to document play time

it's all i know

*shrug*

Post-Posting Updates and Additional Bits [part one?]

here are the post-posting updates and additional bits for the post "Here's what I'd do if I were a twenty-something working toward her first $1,000,000; luckily for us, I was that twenty-something *hair-flip*"

cause it's getting out of control, y'all, and that post was already 9K+ words long *sweats*

(be sure to refresh often, i'm on here, often)

the newest additions are at the top:

why do i love Martha Stewart soooooo much? [24aug2026]

She's one of those handful of people who can teach you how to cook

by getting you from 0 to 1

and then beyond

obviously

you gotta learn from her through her own videos

you gotta watch her do it

and you gotta hear her speak about food as she's cooking it

anyone can cook a steak

Martha teaches women how to cook a steak

but better yet, she teaches you why you should be learning how to cook steak

she pays attention to what women pay attention to

and all of her recipes make sense

She is the reigning Master of teaching the "every woman" how to cook

and she does it because she knows how much money it can save you

cause she came from finance, y'all.

She cares more that you learn to cook for yourself in order to save yourself money

She does not care about teaching you how to make money as a "chef" or whatever.

If you listen to what she says, she says things like, [paraphrased] "This is exactly how they do it in those expensive fancy restaurants, and can you believe it, you can do it yourself at home for ten bucks."

Saving you money has always been Martha's true, deep mission

but americans are fickle people

and they resist learning

at every cost

and so

they must be tricked

and this is a type of skill that only a rare few possess

and historically, they've been called "witches"

in a derogatory sense

lol

"accounting" is one of the things that Computer has already been doing [24aug2026]

if you do not know how to do the things that an accountant knows how to do

no problem

you don't need to know what an accountant knows

you only need to know what an accountant needs to know from you

and these days

you prolly don't need a human accountant until tax time

cause

Computer has always been accounting

and today

Computer is better than any human accountant you could ever afford

cause that's what they'd use

to do your accounting ... Computer

and the best part about Computer, today

is that you can just talk to it about what you're trying to accomplish

and Computer will help you find a way

we've all been free for so long now [23aug2026]

that we've begun to take FREEDOM for granted *weeps*

yes, i am trying to run a few "finance gurus" on socials outta business, lol [22aug2026]

nobody who is truly trying to help you get rich is gonna charge you for this knowledge

why?

because this is the type of knowledge that nepo-babies are born into

this is why the rich get richer, while sleeping

if i were to "gatekeep" this information

or even make ad-revenue off this information, 

i am no better than the elitist assholes born into their wealth

*vomits*

the cards are stacked against us

i am here to stack them in our favor

so yea

if it's possible to shut down a few of these "financial gurus"

ima trya

how to hack the library system [21aug2026]

this is both a quiz and a challenge.

if you are an advanced library user, then this is a quiz and a challenge.

if you are a baby library user, this is a challenge.

if you are an intermediate library user, thanks for being here, and if you want to take the quiz, feel free.

for the babies: get a library card

if you don't want a library card, at the very least, do us library users a favor, and at the very least, open an account and get a library card.

once you have your card, check out something, anything, doesn't matter, you don't even have to read it.

check something out, and go home.

let the due date expire.

like, let's say the book or dvd or cd or magazine is due back tomorrow August 22.

DO NOT RETURN THE BOOK.

RETURN THE BOOK ABOUT A WEEK LATE.

you will accrue a late fee.

after the week has accrued a late fee, return the book and if you don't want to ever return to the library, you never have to return to the library.

do not pay the late fee. 

just return the book, and go about your life.

and thank you, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart.

for the intermediate library users: thank you for using the library!

if you use your home library a lot, maybe you start using your library card to start checking out books for other people

instead of wondering if you can buy someone a book, just check the book out from the library

you will start to accrue fees from people returning your books late, but you're an intermediate library user, so you are used to accruing fees, and you don't mind if this is your act of community service: paying other people's late fees, etc., but don't actually pay other people's late fees, just happily pay your late fees whenever the books you give to other people are returned late.

and now, for the good stuff: to you advanced library users

if you are an advanced library user, then you already have at least two library cards that you use, regularly, proficiently, and if you are an advanced library user, then you know you gotta sniff around a bit to get the good stuff.

thus, this is my challenge: whenever you go anywhere, open a library account

accrue a fee, and then, if/when you leave, do not close your account, do not pay your fee, return all your shit (or send it back, lol) and leave.

why?

this is the quiz question.

why?

i have an account at the auckland public library in aotearoa, new zealand, and i "lived" there without a visa for three months.

i opened the account, because we were going to live there, and what else are you supposed to do when you arrive somewhere new?

i accrued a small balance, literally, like $1.50 in late fees during the time i was there

before we left, we made sure we returned everything we had checked out, nothing was on our account except our modest late fee, and we left the country.

i have an account at the seattle public library and the longmont public library

and here, in hawaii, obviously 

and i got my library card here in hawaii months before i ever signed a lease on a condo

why didn't we close our accounts?

why am i suggesting you open as many public library accounts as you can, wherever you can, and leave a late fee balance on your account even though you will never use that account ever again?

THIS IS ONLY ABOUT PUBLIC LIBRARIES.

some libraries will wipe their fees clean every once in a while, so you just gotta keep opening accounts wherever you go.

when we worked our Twigim stand [21aug2026]

we worked a little farmers market food stall over the summer one summer

and a special st. patrick's day event thingy.

we made "fusion" egg rolls wherein we made egg rolls, but with like not the typical stuffing

for instance, we made a "scroll" filled with korean bulgogi and one filled like a cuban sandwich

at this farmers market, we met a farmer

he was half-korean, so he was like a moth to flame when he heard that i was korean and that yes, it is korean bulgogi

he sold amazing produce, heirloom shit.

the first week of the season, he came by and straight-up ordered the bulgogi scroll

money in hand, he made an order, and i took his money

i obviously gave him what he ordered, and then i gave him an extra scroll on the house

later, he came by and dropped off some produce

beets, i think

and said that the egg roll was amazing

as the weeks went on

he would continue to stroll by the stall, and i'd always ask if he wanted anything different, and he never did, but we knew he did not work his stall alone, cause we started to buy an item or two from his stand every week

as the weeks went on

he would continue to stroll by the stall, money in hand, and i'd insist that he not pay, so he'd drop the money in our tip jar

we'd make whatever he ordered, and then we would start to give him one of each of the other flavors that we had on offer that weekend

and then, like clock-work, at the end of the morning, he'd come strolling by with arms full of all sorts of interesting veggies

and then, we started to cook with his ingredients and stuff our scrolls with his ingredients

and then, sadly, we left to make the changes we needed to make to get where we are today

but i will never forget him or his business, because, y'all, he's the first business we ever did business with, and if we hadn't had our prices hanging from our respective signage, how would we have known how much to give as an equal measure of the value of our products?

we were communicating to each other the value of our products by both buying each other's products (breaking even) and by giving extra to each other in amounts that reflect a measurable dollar amount so that we know that we are "giving back" in equal measure.

he sold premium produce.

we sold premium egg rolls.

we were cheap to produce and our price reflected this: $3 each or 2/$5

his products were expensive to produce and his price reflected this

even tho he knew that we would give him whatever he wanted to eat on any given day, for free, he always gave us $5. he continued to pay that 2/$5 price for the egg rolls.

we thanked him by giving him even more for his money.

he then proceeded to thank us by giving us more for our money.

instead of simply swapping products FOR FREE

we were agreeing to the prices that we had each set for ourselves by continuing to pay for the products

we were also communicating that we thought we each sold good products by essentially "sharing in the wealth"

libraries are largely run by women [20aug2026]

nobody will ever think to look for you in a library

so you can hide away for hours

also

if someone is looking for you

and they find you in the library

if you need to make a scene

you will be heard.

remember,

libraries are large rooms

where the most-intelligent women on this planet

spend their entire day reading, cataloging, and meticulously organizing all the world's knowledge.

on "favors" [20aug2026]

first of all, if you're at the money stage of your life wherein you're finally an entrepreneur

give yourself a huge pat on the back

congratulations! you've made it.

if it's just now dawning on you that you are, in fact, an entrepreneur

take a minute, girl.

seriously. go take a minute.

let it sink in.

realizing your boss-bitch status is heavy; it's a lot.

if you weren't ready to take on the status, even though you're carrying the load, adjust, girl, adjust.

so go take care of you, and i'll see you back here when you're ready.

secondly, i've heard a rumor or two that there's a certain demographic of women who exchange favors, regularly, and i'm going to try to convince you to stop this unhelpful habit.

i also want to communicate that i absolutely understand why it is so difficult for some of us to not exchange favors.

okay, it's gonna get rough out here, so settle in.

below this bit is an additional bit about friendships and content creation.

this is why it is very difficult to "go into business" with a friend

i think it's important to try to do business as a pair

but i think that if the two of you are friends

like really deeply friends

you should not go into business together.

find someone you can work with who has all the skills you lack.

sorta like a roommate. you do not want your roommate to be a friend, because transactional money is involved. you obviously gotta like each other enough to get along, but it's best to have a roommate with whom you do not have emotions weighing in on financial behaviors, etc. 

you can DO business with each other, absolutely, but i'd warn against going INTO business together.

i don't want to state my reasons, because i don't want to influence you in this way.

i do not want to poison you with any of my biases.

if you think i'm wrong, go for it. i'm not here to tell anyone what to do.

i do think, however, that friendships ought to remain as far away from transaction as possible.

so, what do you do when you're starting out and you "can't afford to pay anyone" 

so you exchange favors?

this is where your financial literacy becomes crucial.

i cannot go into great detail here, cause this is a blog, after all, but i will try to flesh out the "why"

here's a setup:

say you're working to build your career as a yoga instructor (this is going to be overly simplified)

you meet other yoga instructors and other "wellness" creators, etc.

you meet someone who is also starting out

she doesn't do yoga, let's say she sells singing bowls

the two of you meet

and do a joint sorta video thing with her bowls and your yoga

you EXCHANGE FAVORS

you post the videos and go about your business

what works about this exchange of favors?

well, you met someone, good.

you accomplished a task (made a video), good.

you have a new business contact, good.

you made a plan and completed it, good.

what's missing?

well, to be frank, the entire business side of this "business meeting" is missing

why?

THERE WAS NO TRANSACTION.

"but we traded favors!"

okay, so go ahead and log that favor into your business' accounting spreadsheet.

what is the monetary value of that favor?

okay, so now to ahead and deposit that favor into your business bank account.

did the bank accept that favor that's "owed" to you?

MONEY IS SIMPLY A UNIT OF MEASUREMENT.

how much was your yoga contribution to the video, in terms of money?

how much was your singing bowls contribution to the video, in terms of money?

the two of you are seeing this as a "fair trade" but is it?

you don't know, cause there's no monetary value on the service you just provided.

the value that you've placed on your services is "$0"

a favor.

what's that favor worth? another favor?

you've already learned that the bank doesn't accept favors.

so the only thing you can cash in with that favor is another favor.

THERE IS LITERALLY ZERO MONEY MOVEMENT IN THIS SITUATION.

THIS IS LITERALLY NOT A BUSINESS.

so what do you DO?

first of all, you need to have a business bank account, and you need to have some money in it.

it can be as low as the minimum balance, but i do not recommend hovering at a bank's minimum, cause you will accrue fees when it drops below the minimum when the bank takes your money for keeping it in the bank. 

so, maybe something like $500 is a good balance to keep in a starter business bank account.

you must register your business with the state in which you live.

you will be assigned an EIN, and this is how the government will know how to tax you and your business from now on.

once you receive your uline catalog, you'll know you're in the system.

you work with the money that is in your business bank account when you do business-related things

and this is what you do with it:

you talk to each other about how much you can afford, in cash, to "pay" each other.

YOU NAME YOUR PRICE.

you ask her to name hers.

she says, "oh, i was hoping we could exchange favors."

and you respond, "i don't exchange favors, because my bank doesn't accept favors."

you move on.

you meet another person who wants to DO business with you.

YOU NAME YOUR PRICE.

SHE NAMES HER PRICE.

you look at each other's prices.

you're $50/hr.

she's $65/hr.

the two of you make a deal to EXCHANGE $50.

you go to the bank before you meet, and you remove $50 cash from your business bank account, and you get a receipt.

you keep the receipt for your records.

you bring the $50 to the meeting.

she does the same.

the two of you do your thing, and then you EXCHANGE $50.

if you bring along an invoice for her, even better.

and then each of you goes and deposits $50 into your business bank account

and you keep the receipt for your records.

you will log, in your accounting spreadsheet:

an expense of $50

and revenue of $50

she goes home and logs in her accounting spreadsheet:

an expense of $50

and revenue of $65 at a $15 discount totalling $50

both of you have exactly the same amount of money you had before the meeting

and now you have an operating business, too.

why?

because you have a taxable paper trail.

and The State will only recognize what's on paper.

anything business related that does not end up on paper is considered fraud.

The State is not trying to prohibit you from making as much money as you possibly can.

The State just wants its fair share.

and the more you make, the more they get, so really, The State wants you to get rich just as much as you want to be rich.

of course you can do things for free, whenever you want.

but you do not log these transactions as a free thing.

you log what you sold or did, and mark it as a donation or mark it at whatever discount was offered for whatever reason or you log it as the fee being waived, but you log that monetary number. 

you donated one hour of your time at $50/hr.

you still need to create a paper trail for the donation.

you cannot simply "donate" shit to people in only your books.

you still need to create a transaction and the paper trail for the transaction and the discount or waived fee.

both parties need to be aware of a transaction of a fee that is being discounted or waived.

if you're simply giving people money, that's a gift, and gifts are taxed differently.

now to the nitty-gritty, cause, that's right, you gotta put a dollar value on, what seems like, yourself.

and here is where i'm speaking mostly to a specific demographic of females, cause i do understand the fear or rational or whatever you want to call it.

an objective dollar number was put on my bodily form.

i was internationally adopted.

i cost $10,000.

you don't think i struggle with my fuckedup valuation?

i do struggle.

i struggle greatly with my own worth.

A DOLLAR FIGURE WAS PUT ON MY LIFE

and i know what you're thinking, "no, that's not it, someone has to cover fees, etc., etc., let me barf puke and spew over you as a person who has never experienced a lick of struggle in her life."

fuck you.

one of the most difficult challenges you will face as a self-made entrepreneur is pricing

you don't know how to value your work

you're looking for other price points based off other businesses that are like yours

you don't want to be a greedy person

you don't want to gauge people

you don't want to ... and for women like us, the list goes on forever.

STOP IT.

do the math.

make it objective.

remove yourself from your emotions and ask yourself, "but what DO i want?"

how much do you want to make, in a year?

how many hours do i want to work?

do the math.

for me, i price myself at $100/hr.

i do not work 40-hour weeks.

not ever. not now. not ever.

everything i do is logged at $100/hr.

if i make something and i want to sell it, i figure out how much time i spent, and i price it at $100/hr. 

if nobody wants to value my work at this price, who cares?

so, when you're trying to meet people with whom to do business

you're not looking for a freebie

that's a race to the bottom

you're looking for another woman who knows what she's worth

because you know what you're worth

and so, when you do business together

you're EXCHANGING THE VALUE OF YOUR WORK

do not think of exchanging $100 for $100 as a wash.

and it certainly is not a loss.

IT IS NOT A LOSS OR A WASH.

THIS IS HOW MONEY WORKS.

CASH FLOWS.

those line items:

expense $100

revenue $100

that's called breaking even, girl.

when a big business buys (ima use small numbers, cause they're just easier)

$1,000 of product from one producer

and sells $1,000 of product to another buyer

you don't think to yourself, "oh, whatashitty business, they bought and sold $1,000"

NO! you do not think this, cause what the thought is is, "oh, that's a business."

you've decided to start content creating, and now, your friends don't like you [20aug2026]

i've been seeing a lot of this sorta theme floating around

so i'll be brief

if you were using your socials to connect with your friends

and now you've gone and pivoted that same exact profile to build customers

your friendships

which are built on being friends

has now turned into a transactional relationship

and news flash

most people do not want their friendships to be transactional

and news flash

no business survives on a customer-base of friends.

if you're starting a content-creation sorta socials

then start a content-creation sorta socials

if your friends don't follow you over there

so what?!?!

i don't expect my friends to support my business

if they want to

great for me!

if they don't

our friendship is not transactional

i do not base my friendships on how much they support my business

like duh

if they're asking me about my business

i'm thrilled!

if they've never been a paying customer

i honestly haven't even noticed

why would i?

they asked me, directly, like a friend

how MY business is going

because they are supporting ME

cause they're a friend

not a customer.

no customer is gonna swing by just to check on you

in the middle of the night

when you're at your worst.

yes, you are correct [19aug2026]

there are a million people who want to "help you achieve your dreams"

by getting you from 1 to 10.

there are, literally, only a handful of people

who can help you get from 0 to 1

and yes

parsing through this haystack IS A NIGHTMARE

on worry [added 19aug2026]

you gotta make worry your friend.

she's your closest ally

cause she's always looking out for you

if you have a person who is close to you and you are close to them, hopefully you have the type of relationship where you can speak your worries aloud to them, and they will hear you.

if this is you, then great. speak your worries aloud and deal with them with this person.

if this is you, then this next bit is not really for you, either, because doing this with a person you trust is the ideal situation.

dealing with your feelings with another fleshy human person is the ideal situation for all emotion/feeling-related events/moments/situations

if this is not you, and you are the person you have, then great!

how lucky are you to be stuck with yourself!

you are the best person, after all, to get to know you, ya know?

if you are the person you have, then what you need is to find a way to speak to yourself.

(i've written about this here, so ima make is short here, in the now)

basically, your thoughts are not part of your hardware, it's "software" in computer-speak

thus, your physical body cannot "know" what your thoughts are

does this make sense?

this needs to make sense for us to be able to continue on.

how does your physical body "know" stuff?

well, through your senses: touch, sight, smell, etc., and there are more than "five" *eyeroll*

since your thoughts are swirling silently, intangibly throughout your "mind"

you need to do something in the physical world so that your brain can pick it up

so, if you want your eyes to see it, make something visible

if you want your ears to hear it, make something audible

etc., etc., &c.

once you've brought that metaphysical or intangible thought into the physical world

then your physical body can use all its senses to get on the same page as your "mind" 

your body and your "mind" must work together to accomplish being you as youfully as you can be

enter, worry.

worries are just thoughts.

they can't hurt you out here.

they're just thoughts in your mind that are swirling around, and your body is having a physical reaction, because your thoughts are making you feel feelings, and your body is reacting to these feelings.

what we're trying to do is help our bodies respond to our feelings.

so, if you're all you got, the quickest way to tell your body your thoughts is to simply speak it aloud.

as a fire sign, i'm not an air sign, so i write everything down, hence, this thing here you're reading now, lol.

when you write down your worry

or when you speak your worry

your physical eyes &or ears can see/hear you

then your brain can finally pick up the signal

and you can essentially "see yourself"

when this happens, now your brain can bring you a little logic

you write down a worry

you realize that you're simply avoiding a bill payment

it's coming up

and you're worried about it

but you're not really worried

you're just *blechfuckingblech* about having to pay a bill

now the feeling has changed

it is not worry

it is the exact right feeling

and now you can do something about it

(i am using this specific feeling, because this one was an all-too familiar monthly occurrence for years until i fucking finally grew up)

so now you can name the exact feeling ... dread. 

i don't wanna fucking pay a bill!

so what do you do?

well, you go into your room (or maybe your car or wherever you have space that you can call your own)

and you scream and shout and you throw a big fit

about how the world is so unfair

about how you're the only person

IN THE WHOLE WORLD

who has to pay bills

you stomp

you shout

you cry

you act like the tiny little financial toddler that you are

and you throw a temper tantrum

maybe you even cry yourself to sleep

then

while you're laying there

with your eyes closed

you ask yourself if you can pay the bill

you sigh and say, "yes."

then you peel yourself off your bed

go to your computer

type out exactly six words

click exactly ten fake buttons

the whole process takes exactly 79 seconds.

and then you go out and spend your treat money

cause that's what it's there for. 

on "finance jargon" [added 19aug2026]

"you use the same words as finance bros, so why do you hate them so much?"

first of all, fuck you.

my pussy and i have not survived a lifetime of monthly menstruation to be reduced to the male-version of our species.

FUCK YOU.

second, finance is an industry; it is a profession

therefore, it has terminology, the "language of finance"

yes, finance bros absolutely throw around all of the same sorts of terms that i am using here

because this is the language of finance

it is your job to learn the language of finance

either through your own volition

or with a teacher, etc.

so when i say things, and it sounds an "awful lot like a finance bro" it is because it is the same language that the finance bros use, because we are speaking the language of finance.

i, however, am a girl using the language of finance, and some of the jargon is absolutely unnecessary and totally made up, and other parts of the language are absolutely necessary, and if you don't know the meaning of these absolutely necessary terms, you will out yourself as the ignorant that you are. 

girls and boys are reared differently here on Empire.

what i'm about to say is not a reflection of my beliefs about how we are born or our "destiny" as embryos or anything like that.

what i'm about to say is about how girls and boys are treated differently, before we even exit our mothers' wombs, and this double-standard has created different types of humans.

*big inhale*

*deep exhale*

boys are reared to be really good at taking in a lot of information and finding a singular conclusion.

girls are reared to be really good at taking one piece of information and making a lot of it.

whether or not this is an inherently "male" or "female" trait doesn't really matter, cause these are the sorts of behaviors that women and men exhibit, today, as human people on Empire.

this is why the idea of "lock in" doesn't work for women

we expand outward

we take seeds and grow them

we make small humans and nurture them

we use our small families to create larger community

we do not lock in.

no woman in the history of womanhood has ever "locked in"

we multiply.

if you are a woman, and this is triggering you, LOOK AT IT.

a man who suggests that you "lock in" is a threat.

look at the language. look at the diction. look at the word choice.

he's literally asking you to ignore your surroundings and focus on this thing over here.

he's shrinking you.

he's limiting you to a finite space.

he's suggesting that whoever you are, you lock it up.

i do not care what his INTENTIONS are. those WORDS are your future the minute you speak them.

NO, lady. NO.

EXPAND OUT!

here's a new piece of financial terminology to look into to expand your financial vocabulary:

we're looking for companies that have a thing called a "large moat"

not only, but also.

[added 18aug2026]

if/when (let's be real) when a man tries to belittle your money

because you used your body

remind him that every opportunity that he's been given

was given to him

because of his body

so he's a whore, too

he's just selling his penis.

ladies,

if you've got great boobs

that's what's called "the easiest money in the whole world"

if you're comfortable monetizing them

and you want to monetize them

DO NOT HESITATE

remember ladies,

every man who has ever gotten a job

got that job

because of his penis

if i have to spell it out for you

it's because he's a man.

i think that a grocery store is a great place to learn what kind of job you might like [18aug2026]

grocery stores are made up of departments

think of them like enclosed farmer's markets

each department does something separate from the others:

bakery, floral, grocery, meat/seafood, produce, etc.

these are all very different types of jobs

they're essentially the same in that the job is essentially

stocking shelves

but the stuff that's going on the shelf is all different

my last job

(not last as in last ever, i do have plans to work part-time again, because i want to learn how to cook korean food, so i want to find somewhere i can job and learn how to do this, last as in most-recent as i am currently taking myself through school [ephwhyell volume 0.3] and not-jobbing, cause, not to brag but i can)

was at safeway

i was hired in january 2021 and left in april 2026

and it is, by far, the longest amount of time i've spent with one company

i started in fresh cut

cutting up fresh fruit to make it "ready-to-eat"

at $12.10/hr (ish, i cannot remember, exactly, and i'm not about to hunt down that old pay stub)

in longmont, colorado

there was a probationary period (again, cannot remember exactly how long but maybe three months?)

but then as soon as i had cleared it

the director, there,

came by the little fresh cut department every other week and asked,
"you see that 10% raise on your paycheck?"

and i was about fifty cents away from max-pay in about six months

i also received an additional $2/hr for the hours i worked overnight

because i worked two hours that were considered part of the overnight shift

(i learned this bc the fresh cut shift starts at 5am, once i learned this, i asked the director if there was a job i could do for an entire shift of overnight bonus pay, again, don't quote me, this was a while ago, and i definitely have the exact details mixed up somewhere, i'm sure, but the overall results in my pay increases are what's been stated in real numbers)

so i gained about $10/hr over my starting $12/hr in the total time i was there

and i was about 90% of the way to that final pay in the first six months i was there

i was there from january 2021 til april 2023

i worked fresh cut, overnight stocking and was the overnight baker during this time period

when i transferred to the safeway here in honolulu

the overnight bonus was only $0.50

and the max-pay was $2 lower than the max-pay on the mainland

so it was a huge, overall loss for the bodybuddy/lifemate to stay at safeway, here

i, however, was offered a different job within the store

and i took the new job, obviously

i had lamented to the universe only six months prior

that i had finally figured out the big gap in my entrepreneurship knowledge

and that gap was pricing

and the job that was being offered was "pricing manager"

i couldn't believe it

so i started at $23/hr plus the $0.50 overnight put me at $23.50

and i gained about $1/hr from what i was being paid in longmont

i left in april 2026 at $25.43(ish) plus $0.50 overnight put me at $26/hr

i had to claw and chew for every raise i got

i hate the director of that store

but i got one whole dollar every time

i put up a fight before i left

because i had decided to leave

so i put in my notice along with a departure date

nobody believed me

because everyone thought i loved that job

because i did it so well

and i did do it so well

the best, in fact

but i knew the director did not value my contributions appropriately

and so

i wanted to find out what the director would offer

and when he offered it

i laughed in his face

and i left on my stated departure date

i would have stayed if the director there understood what i brought to the table

and valued it accordingly

but he did not

but then that means you pay in cash? [added 18aug2026]

you betcha.

credit card money is no different than a digital currency

we use digital currency in the digital world

cash is physical money

we use physical currency in the physical world

(&i use digital currencies in the forms of dollars and eridium in the game borderlands

&i'm holding out for the day when my xbox gamer points convert into some sort of usable currency, afk)

banks are also incredibly forgiving with credit card fraud

and if your bank is a big bank

unfortunately, they understand your spending better than you do

so use them

and let them monitor any potentially-fraudulent activity

which is most-likely gonna happen with a credit card

cause debit cards have other protections

cause debit cards access your cash

and you're gonna have to do a lot of work to convince someone that you didn't give them your pin, etc.

the bank that extends us our personal line of credit

has never argued with a single unexpected credit card charge

they knew before we did that it was odd

there's also a thing that happens when you use cash to pay for everything "irl" (i prefer afk)

and it's a better way of living

if you want to reach the kinds of goals we are aspiring toward here

if you don't believe me

try living with only cash

(minus any bills you might have to pay online, duh, pay your bills.)

for one month

and tell me i'm wrong

when i was a senior in high school
there weren't enough classes left for me to take to round out my schedule
so i had two off periods every day
and i had one period, every day
that i spent volunteering.
those block periods were spent shelving books at the library
(can you imagine
looking at all the books that were checked out
and meticulously putting them away
for an entire class?!?!
needless to say
that volunteer work was a dream)
or serving lunch/calling bingo at the local senior center.
i had so much fun serving lunch and calling bingo
all the old people loved me
they knew i was heading off to college once i graduated
and so they were always so interested in what i was up to
and i took the time to hear them out
when they had something to say to me
old people are all of the people who were peaking during a simpler time
it doesn't matter when in time you're living
the "old people" were peaking during a simpler time
they are a gateway into the past
living time travelers
with stories to tell
and they'll tell you all about the "simpler times"
and if you're rolling your eyes right now
fuck off
these stories are important
because this is the way that life "used to be"
which means that they're helping you fill in the gaps in your knowledge
you sure as fuck were NOT there
thank, Ladybug
you're here NOW
in the future
so listen up kid
to how good you've got it.

anyway
by the time i was graduating
i'd spent an entire year with them
and they knew when i was calling bingo for them
for the last time
and i was sad
cause the likelihood of any of them being there when i grow up
was small
but anyway
we had a great round of bingo
and when we were finished for the afternoon
they all collected their dimes in a little bag
and gave it to me
i cried and thought that it was the cutest "gesture"
a bag of dimes
when i got home
i counted all those dimes
and it added up to $90
i cried again
and then went to the bank
and deposited my money into my account
the account i'd live off during school

needless to say
to this day
i collect change like it's money
CAUSE IT IS!

"Why do I have to prove myself? I already told him that I'm a good worker!" [added 17aug2026]

okay, so, first of all, your employer is running a business.

businesses cost money, upfront.

a business owner must spend a ton of money before they ever see a penny back.

employees cost money.

an employer is paying you MONEY to be an employee at their business.

NO BUSINESS OWNER WANTS TO WASTE MONEY.

this is why the starting pay rate is so low.

of course, too many employers on Empire want to pay their workers as little as possible

but ALL employers want GOOD workers,

and if you're a good worker, they will pay to keep you.

i've only ever worked hourly-wage labor, my entire life.

i tell people all the time that "i've never had a 'real job',"

cause i haven't.

i've built my wealth through hourly-wage labor, because hourly-wage labor rewards hard work (up to a point) and loyalty (up to a point). 

there are ceilings, obviously, the larger the company, the lower the ceiling, because larger companies offer ladders to climb. 

the more responsibilities you're willing to take on the higher your pay rate becomes.

smaller mom-and-pop shops are all different.

if you're lucky enough to find yourself embedded in a mom-and-pop, it's a big risk, but the upside is also potentially really big. if you don't know why this sorta dynamic exists in small businesses, you'll have to really put your big brain to work to think it through.

where was i ...

oh right, so when you start out somewhere, you're starting from the bottom, just like everyone else, cause your employer doesn't know who to pay more, cause they only want to pay more for GOOD workers.

this is why ive transferred within a corporation, twice (the bodybuddy/lifemate has, too, three times).

i kept my seniority (loyalty paid out in benefits, etc.) and the pay rate i earned through all of my raises (i didn't have to start at the pis-poor starting rate). 

so pay your dues. do the work. show up on time. work hard when you're on the clock (not too hard, there's a line here when working for other people, and you'll have to sorta parse through it yourself. whatever "hard work" means for you, you need to sorta tailor it to each of your environments). do not even answer your phone when you are not on the clock. when you're on the clock, be there. when you're off the clock, YOU ARE NOT BEING PAID FOR YOUR TIME, so give them NONE OF YOUR TIME!

this includes breaks.

TAKE ALL OF YOUR BREAKS, and if you do not want to speak to anyone while you are on your break, you have that right.

DO NOT WORK OFF THE CLOCK FOR ONE SINGLE SECOND.

if an employer even suggests that you work off the clock, this is a HUGE RED FLAG.

start planning an exit.

once your employer makes it obvious to you that they think you're a good worker, they'll start to say things like, "I can't believe you've only worked here for a week!" or "You sure look comfortable." or "I wish I could get more of yous." or "So what do you do when you're not here?"

a good employer is always trying to find the best workers, and so, if you're a good worker, they'll want more of your time, so they'll start to point out to you how much time you spend there.

that's your first clue.

the second clue is when they start to be curious about your life.

they want to make you happy, so that you stay.

THIS IS WHEN YOU ASK FOR MORE MONEY.

i don't have a lot of advice for you, if you're shy.

as a sag, i just say it.

i literally walk into wherever the manager is and say, "I need a raise."

and i've gotten one every time.

you just kinda gotta bring it up somehow, and say it.

you could ask your supervisor if they have a minute at the end of a shift, and then, while on the clock, ask them about your pay rate. 

ask something like, "You had mentioned that there are opportunities for a raise, and so I'm wondering what it would take for me to be able to get a raise, now." 

if it's a supervisor, they'll have to check with the manager.

if you're speaking directly to your manager who has the power to make this sort of decision, listen to what they say. 

you can even outright ask if they think you're deserving of a raise.

if you think that you are, and they say that you are not. listen. 

if they are right, change.

if you are right, leave.

if you hate the job, but it has potential to pay well, and you know they like you, put in a departure date. they WILL offer you more money. if they don't, you're already leaving. if it's enough money to outweigh how much you hate it, stay. if it's not enough money to outweigh how much you hate it, leave.

MAKE IT VERY CLEAR THAT YOU ARE THERE FOR MONEY, not friends, not experience, not resume-building...MONEY.

my point is that, yes, a lot of these wage-labor jobs have a piss-poor starting rate, but if you're a good worker, you will start to be paid more as soon as they can pay you more (if you're stuck in a probationary period, the company cannot really do much to accelerate your rate, but a good company will try to make it up to you once you're freed [this is what i found out at safeway]).

so stick it out. 

prove yourself to your employer.

if you are good, they will reward you.

if you open your mouth, even better.

if you know, in your heart, that they do not care about your hard work, leave.

there are lots of good businesses looking for good workers, and they want to see you succeed.

[added 17aug2026]

yes, you need to have a general understanding of how much your dollar is worth,

compared to the other currencies of the world.

why?

great question for study with Computer!

[added 17aug2026]

my first sbux boss in Syracuse, Papa Lovins

helped me get my job in Boulder

he put me on vacation until i called him up with the new store location

when i got to Boulder, i walked right into an sbux and found out where to go and who to talk to

they pointed me to a very specific store and a very specific person

i went there

i told him about Papa Lovins

he told me he'd call me

he called me about a week later with the store location that i was to show up at to start working shifts

today, if i were twenty, i'd try to move to korea with my sbux job, lol

[added 16aug2026]

what do i mean by "products that prop up everyday living?"

well, i don't mean consumer-facing goods.

what are consumer-facing goods?

this sounds like a great question to study with Computer.

where do you shop for stuff you need to live a life?

one place is maybe the grocery store or a big box store that sells detergent, towels, etc.

you're not looking at what's on the shelf.

you're looking at the shelf, itself.

what does this business need to run its business?

a business like this does not know what a customer will come in to buy,

but a business like this needs what to operate?

literally, shelves, price tags, signs, the string that holds up the signs, flooring, the people who lay down the flooring, toilets, etc., etc., etc.

(HINT: these are all businesses) 

these are the types of products that "prop up everyday living"

not the stuff you buy

this is all the stuff that businesses buy

this is all the stuff that businesses need to create and distribute the products that you buy

B2C is gambling

what's B2C? another great question to study with Computer.

betting on the C is betting on what will be bought by the consumer

and this is guess-work

no different from gambling

B2B is the stuff of wealth

what is B2B? you guessed it, ask Computer.

ownership in the first B in B2B is investing

the first B in B2B does not rely on the whims of the consumer

it relies on the strength of american entrepreneurship

[added 16aug2026]

every dollar you spend is making someone rich.

use your nose.

your nose knows.

[added 14aug2026]

i own 51% of all of our assets

&in boardroom sorta terms

i hold the Golden Share

[added 12aug2026]

the single most-sinister act of humanity upon itself

was the monetization

of the soul

[added 11aug2026]

if you are born

a Citizen of Empire

this way of making money

(stock-market investing)

is quite literally

your birth right

there are no roadblocks to stop you

all you have to do

is open an account

your own account.

[added 11aug2026]

there's some chinese proverb that goes something like this:

money can't buy everything

but without it

you can't buy anything

a little more food for convincing [added 10aug2026]

why is $10,000,000 the magic number (for those of us aspiring for wealth beyond comfort)?

well, find out what a thing called Treasuries are.

Treasuries are the closest thing to a "sure thing"

why?

well, that's up to you to figure out.

what Treasuries do, is grow about 5% annually.

why?

well, that's up to you to figure out.

if you have $1,000,000 in Treasuries,

and it grows 5% in one year,

how much money did you "make"?

you can, essentially, siphon off the 5% that you made,

and live off it.

5% of $1,000,000 is a decent "salary," 

but these days

that amount of money is not enough to live off of, alone.

&so, yes,

it's a significant amount of money,

but it's not enough.

what happens, then, when you have $10,000,000 in Treasuries,

and it grows by 5% annually?

what is 5% of $10,000,000?

now that's far more-than a comfortable amount

to live off of;

don't you think?

&ideally,

that'd only be one of your vehicles that grows your cash.

when is enough "enough"? [added 10aug2026]

i mention above how women need to be extremely selfish during these years of financial foundation building. this does not mean that you cannot be generous. it simply means that you gotta make sure you have "enough" money to cover your own expenses before you start giving away money that you actually need to pay for your life. "enough" is going to be a different amount for each of us. think about this. ask any man in your life the last time he gave someone money or a gift, unprompted, and for no reason. 100/100 men will say, "never." 

my love language is gifts (not only tangible gifts, i enjoy all sorts of gifts, the more-creative, the better, i would even consider a text message a tiny gift from some people), and so, i have always had an envelope to budget this sort of spending. i know myself. i've known myself for a long time due to the traumatic experiences of my childhood. i know how to pay attention, cause for me, it was literally life or death. i was abandoned on a door step, and the biological family who left me there, took my picture on that doorstep before they left me there. this is all beside the point.

my point is that you can do with your money whatever the fuck you please with it. for most of my childhood, i was trained to "tithe" 20%. The Church, literally, has no way of making money, which is why they sell salvation, and for those of you who think that this salvation is "free," it is not; it's tiered pricing, a percentage, 20% of whatever you make. once i realized that The Church is full of shit, i also realized that jesus was probably a pretty good guy just trying to look out for other people, and it was the powers of the institution that has made the beliefs that were supposedly built upon this man such crass hypocrisy. while i left my salvation behind, i took the idea of generosity, giving back, with me. i started to save that 20% for myself. and then, by the time i returned to school in boulder, i soon realized that i could spend 20% of that 20% on others, but only if i had "enough" to pay for my own life, which i did by the time i arrived in boulder, and so, i started to volunteer my time to a group of young women high schoolers. and since i had been stashing away 20% of that 20% i scraped off every pay check, i had enough money to be a good leader to them. if they wanted to do something, i could make it happen. i absolutely did NOT pay for everything, no way, but i broke down their request so that they could understand what they were really asking for, financially, and then, i explained to them the cost of their idea, and then, they came up with a plan on how to split the cost between themselves plus me. i donated my time, and i would pay for my portion of the event, and then we'd all go have a great time! and i would also usually pay for one extra little thing for the event, etc. if that money i had been saving hadn't been there, i'd be a terrible leader to them and myself. if i had to put these events on a credit card or if i couldn't contribute financially at all, then i'm doing them a disservice by being unable to lead them in the way that they were deciding, and i'm doing myself a disservice by taking on debt. i'd be a burden on them, and i was there to serve them. i'd be burdening my future with debt, and i was there to grow.

for me, "enough" is being able to afford my life.

for me, "enough" is being able to walk around on any given regular day and afford anything i might want to buy (i am a cheap person, i have very few wants). 

for me, i've had "enough" for quite some time. 

why do i want more?

well, because when you find out what life is like when you have enough, how much help you can actually provide in the lives of the people around you, you start to get hooked on this idea that money can actually help people. and so, if i'm good at making money, why not make as much as i can so that i can help out as much as i can, and no, i do not support the idea of charity.

you using ai to read for you? good! [added 10aug2026]

REMEMBER, however, that ai is an ASSISTANT. 

use ai like you would a HUMAN assistant.

if you asked your assistant to read something for you,

and someone asks you about what you read,

you wouldn't say, "well, my assistant says ..."

NO!

you would have your assistant read whatever you need them to read

and then you'd read whatever they said the book was about

and then you'd go through and fact check everything that comes up in their notes

and then you'd make your own opinion about it.

the best way to use ai, these days,

is as a research assistant and a drafter.

ai is an incredible learning tool. 

these days, the gap that ai is creating is in learning.

for those of us who know how to learn and can learn quickly,

ai can accelerate this learning speed.

so use ai to learn, cause ai is really good at facts, finding information, parsing through a lot of information to present to you what's out there.

the onus is still on you to be able to recognize which pieces of information ai brings back to you are useful and which ones are crap,

and then, you tell ai which pieces of information it brought back were useful and which ones were crap, 

and then, ai will learn, more precisely, what it is that you want from it. 

ai can build tools to help you achieve your goals,

but it must be trained to fully understand your goals.

it's not much more capable than that.

you still gotta put in all of your hours

as a human thinker

but ai can help relieve a little of the work load

by creating tools that you think of that will help you,

but you must treat everything that ai "says"

as if it's someone you've hired to tell you what you want to hear.

would you ask your assistant for ideas?

maybe just for brain-storming, but you have your own ideas, that's why you're using ai to help you make-real your ideas.

would you ask your assistant to create something for you?

i'd hope not.

would you ask your assistant to do all your work and submit it without looking at it?

i'd hope not.

so yea,

ai is pretty good at reading,

but it does not read perfectly.

ai reads really well to parse and find facts, but there are nuances to human logic and reasoning that ai simply does not understand, yet.

what ai does best right now, imo, for the everyday run-of-the-mill student is find information by "reading through" thousands and thousands of pages of information quickly and flagging facts and citing exactly where it found a quote or whatever, but it cannot make anything of it for you.

you can train ai to flag whatever information you're looking for, but then you must still go look at the information that ai cites and read it.

so use the tool as if you're working with a human assistant.

what would you task that human to do for you?

i, personally, would only task a human assistant to complete tasks that, essentially, can be done automatically. i need an assistant to check my emails and route them to the corresponding people who need to read them, but i certainly do not want my assistant to reply to my emails for me. maybe there are a few email types that i'd have them respond to, but no way are they ever going to speak for me. i would never off-load my thinking to my assistant, ya know? i have dreams, goals, ideas, and so, if i utilized an assistant (i do not, at this time), the assistant would be here to assist ME as i bring forth MY ideas.

Three Fat Quarters

i made five items
(the tote is reversible, &the fifth item is noneya)
outta three fat quarters
($1.47 each [not including tax] at walmart)
plus a little white muslin
(from my bolt)
^..^
all fabrics are 100% cotton
&the two pouches are fully lined in muslin
also,
this is the first time i've sewn up a little tote
since my childhood
lol
i crocheted a few tiny totes
for my old jobplace cojobbers
for the new year
earlier this year
*shrug*

(took me about five (5) hours [all in one stint {no break}] to make all this stuff :)
this is the pattern for the tote
i didn't make a pattern for the pouches
cause they're pouches
*shrug*