03 March 2024

Some questions rattling around in my mind as my jobbing (the job i do as an exploitee* for some other business) schedule has changed (a good thing), which has altered my general work (the work i do for my own businesses) flow, and so, while the shifting settles, I ponder. In the meantime, I'm eyeballing my stats like a raptor, cause, well, not to brag, but this site is about to hit 100K all-time views, like, imminently, like, w/in the next twenty-four hours. *eek*

When did neutrality become hostile?

because i am not a "nice" person, most people know where i stand with them. those who are insecure, well, there's nothing i can do about them. all i can say is that if i've fucking spent money on you, at all, then i obviously fucking like you, like goddamn, what does it take to make a friend and have them continue to consider you their friend when you're busy and just like need a break from socializing, gah! and so, i've been pondering some fiction sketches, but the words are still congealing into something edible. in this moment, i have but a list of ingredients, no recipe. the themes of this question also stem from my jobplace, because, well, it's not my job to assure you that i like you. if i know you from my job, i don't like you, and i also don't not-like you. i'm just being neutral, like we ought to be, because we're at our fucking JOB! we have to get our jobs done whether or not we like each other, so who fucking cares? that is what "being professional" means. like, duh!


Since the writing about not-white-ness in the context of whiteness by a not-white person is not considered racist, because *clap.clap.clap.* representation, then theoretically, my writing about my non-white & non-black experience in the context of whiteness & blackness ("omfingg, she used white first and black second, both times! fucking fraud! she supports white supremacy!") ought not be considered racist, as well, amirite?

i obviously hate social media. i hated it and quit after hating fucking white-woman yoga. and now i hate it and quit after hating fucking feminist-globeaux-woman threads. sorry, people with wombs, no! goddammit, people with vaginas? shit, no, what is it, the people who are penetrated?, no, the people who are asexual or never have sex, wait, no, that's not right, cause, well, not to get too specific, but if your genitalia is a penis, okay, well, now this is no longer relevant, since the parts don't matter, and determine nothing, ugh, nevertheless, the use of the word woman is out, so there are no women and there are no men, because men are women and women are men, and we're all equal, and so, there are no "women's issues," you dumb fucks, oh wait, sorry, that's so mean. women aren't dumb! it's the feminist-globeaux people-who-identify-as-woman-without-having-any-female-human-body-parts-but-sometimes-do-have-female-body-parts-but-sometimes-have-male-body-parts-but-identify-as-the-non-gender-"she"-but-who-absolutely-do-not-want-to-be-defined-by-the-word-female-because-that-would-put-their-genitalia-front-and-center-and-the-misogynists-think-of-female-as-lesser-so-the-whole-point-is-to-make-sure-that-we-know-exactly-what-genitalia-each-person-possesses-so-as-to-rule-over-them-with-the-hierarchy-of-gender-importance-with-"them"-being-the-most-important-no-the-leveling-of-gender-so-that-it-doesn't-matter-at-all-except-that-it-matters-the-most that make Threads so unpalatable, which begs the question, why do those who identify very specifically as "them" or "he/she" so desperate to ensure that gender/sexuality matters the most and does-not-matter at all, all at the same time?

*shiver* yikes! did i do it right? *eyeroll* 

cue the pc police! *screech* defund the police!

When black people die, do they go to black heaven? Same question re white people?

 just kidding. i'd never spend any amount of time pondering heaven. that's such a white/black thing. damn. those whites and blacks and their white/black jesus. 


Do I prefer the people who have something to teach me or those for whom I have arrived as their teacher?

it's True. some people show up to teach you something. others show up to be taught something by you. i prefer those who have entered my life to teach me something. i hate teaching, because, well, the every-person hates to learn. #facts

How can someone be (so) hot and (so) talented and yet, be (so) uncool? 

hot, cool, and popular are all supremely subjective social statuses. there are, however, enough objective signifiers to create a majority on what/who is or is not hot, cool &or popular. but maybe this is all false. maybe if everyone was truly able to somehow have their vote count, we'd find out that there are no objective metrics to things like hotness, coolness and popularity. maybe each of our worldviews is so immensely unique that if everyone expressed themselves equally, there would be no hot, cool or popular people, because every single person on Earth thinks so completely differently.

 *BAHAHAHAHA* people thinking! *BAHAHAHAHA* ah, the belly aches! stop it!

How is it that the same people who fight for diversity, representation and social equality would not support every job having the same pay, no matter the job? Their fight even includes people of diverse abilities. Their fight is never about those who are physically incapable of holding down a job receiving pay for a job that they can physically accomplish. Wait, does their fight even include employing people with varied abilities at the exact same pay rate as everyone else?

the hypocrisy of social justice warriors is enough to make my head spin. you support, nay, demand diversity, equity and inclusion, but you do not fight that all jobs are paid equally, no matter the job. every human has to job, this is capitalism-as-usual, and yet, these elitists still believe that some jobs (nay, "work") have greater value than other jobs, and so, that means that the people who are only capable of doing menial labor have a lower financial value, which ultimately suggests that you believe that these people have a lower economic value, which means that they do not contribute "equally" to society and thusly, should not be compensated...equally. FUCK YOU!


*i am an exploitee for one reason and one reason only, at my jobplace, there is a tier of corporate office jobbers who get paid twice as much for half the work. the most pressing issue is not corporate greed at the CEO level, the most pressing issue is the middle-tier of corporate jobbers with bloated salaries for what?, going to college? *BAHAHAHA* from my point of view, this tier of jobber is why Kroger and Albertson's must merge. their merger will cut half of the corporate office parasites. this will, obviously, not help the hourly-wage laborers on the ground, but at least some corporate office parasites will be unemployed and irrelevant to the jobforce, and eventually, they will be obsolete, thank goddess! a job is a job. every employee should be paid equally. the company, as a whole, cannot accomplish its goal, of being a business, without every jobber on the ground. they can, however, do just find with half the office parasites. #facts. all jobs are equal, because everyone must job in order to receive money that we can then use to purchase the things we need. to think otherwise makes you an elitist bigot, so stop pretending that you care about anyone but yourself, also, FUCK YOU! no, nevermind, there's no need to get angry, it's becoming abundantly clear that to replace the physical labor of hourly-wage laborers is a much more difficult technological feat than replacing office parasites, so everything will work itself out, lol.

20 February 2024

A Year in Our Social Life | Now &for the Future

We've been planning our annual social calendar, and I never realized that our entire tv-broadcasting consumption revolves around the NBA. I'm sure the bodybuddy/lifemate has been aware of his lemming-like following of the entirety of the NBA season, but I didn't realize how much I like the NBA and want to be part of it. 

Firstly, the schedule, as it stands, currently ::

New Year's Eve/Day — after spending our first NYE and NYD in Honolulu this past New Year's, we've definitely decided that how/where we spend the new year will be determined on a year-by-year basis

Aspen Ski Trip — to be had during the last two weeks of January

New York Fashion Week — to be attended during the two weeks that this event happens in February with an eventual show of my own when I'm older as my Act III #goals

All-Star Weekend — to be attended wherever the event is happening on the Mainland on any given year, maybe we'll stay the week, maybe we'll only stay for the weekend

Cherry Blossoms in Spring — to be seen in early April during a few weeks in Seoul

The Finals — to be attended back on the Mainland, wherever the games are happening in May/June and that is also where the bodybuddy/lifemate's birthday week will be spent, unless he wants to do something additional specifically for his bday

Birthday Week — will be spent in Seoul until Christmas Day when ...

Christmas Day — will be spent wherever the hottest NBA game is being played

and then it's off to wherever we decide to spend New Year's on any given year.

And so, when I think of the luxurious dreams that I hope my life will someday afford, I am also becoming aware of what's important to me. And this is important, to me, because the sooner I can realize what does matter to me in my life (which, in itself is utterly meaningless) the sooner I can understand how to utilize the time that this life provides, because TIME is not your money,


If you've found that you sorta just did what you thought everyone was supposed to do and you're now realizing that you haven't actually done anything that YOU want to do, and so, you find yourself to be deeply depressed by the state of your life (yes, of course, we all know you love your kids, etc., whatever), you can still make your life into whatever it is that you want from it, because you have TIME. As you live and breathe, time is on your side. 

You may not have enough money, but you have time to acquire it. You may not have the exact skills you need to accomplish your dreams or even begin working toward them, but you have time to learn. You may think that you don't have very much time, but you don't need that much time to get started. 

If you job for some company forty hours per week, maybe you start by spending five minutes a week working toward your dream. Then, eventually, maybe you need a part-time job because you have to work eight whole hours toward your dream. Then, eventually, maybe your dream is paying out two days worth of jobbing, so you can only job three days a week so that you can work two days a week, and eventually, you'll be working full-time toward your dreams. This is a multi-decade timeline, and if you don't like that this is a multi-decade timeline, then keep on doing you and listen to those stupid-ass internet people who have convinced you that you can somehow keep spending all the money you want (and more) and somehow become rich through your social media account. There's no such thing as getting rich quick.

Dream-chasing hinges entirely on your ability to live within your means.

Many many many years will go by when your work output will be the equivalent of a full week's work, but you will be making zero dollars, AND you will be jobbing some stupid job, which means that you will be working TWO jobs all week.

These people on the internet making it seem like they had some side hustle that suddenly blew up are lying to you. There was no sudden blow up. No going viral. They toiled and bled for decades until their business grew to the point where they could quit their day jobs and work their own businesses full-time. OR their "side hustle" isn't actually paying out the way they claim it is, cause you "fake it til you make it," right? Wrong. Yes, of course, some people get lucky, but if you're "poor" like I am (raised by a family with no capital and no connections) becoming rich is doubly difficult, because you were raised by people who don't know anything about money, and so, they don't teach you anything about money, thusly, you must both teach yourself about money, and then implement that teaching all by yourself, through your own rugged discipline. It's tough being relatively "poor" in this society that is only growing in inequity. 

Rising, however, is kind of the point of These United States. 

This is the place where anyone can be anything, where dreams come to thrive. Anyone telling you otherwise is a Bad American. Anyone believing that the system is rigged only against them and their ilk are deeply narcissistic. The System is rigged to allow those who make it, to stay. That's it. And there's no guarantee that if you do make it, you will stay. The likelihood is small that your fortune will survive beyond two generations. 

In short, there are little to no barriers of entry into the upper echelons to those who are educated (either by themselves or others) except the inner-workings of each individual who tries. The inequity exists mostly because people are always going to want to help their family and friends first, aka nepotism. 

But the reality is that nobody is going to help the person who doesn't even try.

[end note] i'm obviously not fucking talking to people trapped in systemic american poverty. i'm, obviously, speaking to those of us who would be considered "middle class" in a more evenly distributed economy but who are quickly slipping into "poor." this piece, in particular, is not about how gutted and terrible the social services are in these united states, because that is the real squeeze on the american public, not corporate greed. corporate greed is a given in these times of capitalism-as-usual. the laziness and corruption is happening within our own government, and its inability to get creative about how to reign in the obvious harms of complete privatization, etc. like, relax, every piece can't be about every single little fucking issue that's wrong with every single little fucking issue that's wrong with every single little fucking issue...like, duh. 

11 February 2024

Doused in Racism (of the Idiot's Variety)

Here's the thing about Racism. It absolutely does exist, obviously, but I think that the general public has sort of lost sense of what it means, what it is. 

Because humanity is so primitive in this "twenty-first" century, we are still a tribal sort of people. The things that make us different are a threat as opposed to an overall strength for our species. We see the "pointing at" of the various strengths and weaknesses of other races as racism, the bad kind, when in reality, it is a very good thing that there exists various types of peoples, all over the world, with DIFFERING skills, priorities, strengths, and weaknesses.

This is a big world we live in.

This is an even bigger universe that we're a part of. 

And then this is when I get yelled at about how I consistently tread into eugenics territory, etc.

Nevertheless, there's nothing wrong with the fact that, these days, the asians are perceived as the culture that upholds the intellect. For all of white human history, it was the jews who were the reigning scholars, and thus, the reigning threat. Today, the united states' greatest threat is, obviously, china, the upholders of academic achievement, the ruthless representatives of a true meritocracy. The joke, obviously, is that this is how stupid white people are. The whites think that all of this scholarly effort is a new idea for the chinese! Excuse me, but we're talking about a culture that must understand TWO languages in order to know how to effectively communicate in the singular language of their birth. If you do not know to what I am referring, it is this stupidity within you, yes, you, dear reader, about which I currently speak.

Asians are being discriminated against because the emphasis of their intellect, as a cultural whole, their cultural morality being definitively tied to their intellectual achievement, etc. is a threat to the rest of the world, because in college admissions offices, well, it's not even a competition anymore. Asians are dominating academics, across the board. They lack a bit of creativity, however. 

Black people currently dominate athletics. There is not a single sport that will fall to the reign of black people, the world over. As soon as a single black person makes it through, the entire sport will be a simple competition between black people. This is of no lesser importance. AND within the black community, of those who DO prioritize academics above all things, they also dominate within mainstream academics, especially black women, damn. Maybe not to the extent that they believe they deserve, but change takes time. You all know this. But change is happening very rapidly, right now. I hope you're as prepared as your ancestors knew you would need to be. In my opinion, there is a gaping hole in financial literacy (I've ordered half a dozen items from black-owned businesses, and not a single one of them included an invoice. Like, if you don't realize that I need an invoice, then I can never do business with you, at any level), but my opinion doesn't matter, cause nobody's opinion matters, and I would obviously NEVER blame black people for refusing financial help from others. I get it. Nevertheless, create invoices and include them with your orders! Fuck! 

(also, I used to spend money on stretch classes, supporting a black man ig user, and when they announced that they're having an early-bird special for some classes coming up in April, I commented inquiring about when the early-bird deal will end, cause, like, I have a budget, like a responsible human being, and a plan, for every cent of my money, so what I need is a date, and instead, some other user [seemingly "in-touch" with the ig account holder] commented something to the effect of, "the early-bird deal will be over when he finally gets consistent work and doesn't need to put his classes on discount," to which I thought, a] so this is a deeply troubled business and b] cause the people surrounding this "entrepreneur" lack a basic understanding of business. Like, all I needed in reply was, "March 1st," or some other date, not some comprehensive discussion about why this person doesn't have consistent work, i.e. spotty revenue. And also, this same ig account routinely insults its followers for asking basic questions about HOW TO GIVE HIM MONEY. In what universe do I want to give money to someone who is so upset to be asked, over and over again, about how to give him money? Like, seriously? Fuck you. What the fuck? On the other hand, every time I've commented on my favorite black woman designer's posts, she not only likes every single comment, she reposts Stories mentions, and she ANSWERS MY QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW TO GIVE HER MONEY, every. single. time. And even she did not include an invoice with my order, twice.)

And now we're at the place where I'm going to be yelled at for using the age-old ... what's the word ... excuse-of-the-whites ... by placing the "culture" of a race front and center, the lazy white man's idea, obviously. Cause when it comes to the whites, they want to frame "black culture" as violent, and so, *hands slapping together as that's that* that's that. 

But it's not untrue. 

Different races value different things because of the varied environmental factors that that race exists within, must survive through, as a whole. 

Black people (obviously i'm no expert. this is merely how i translate the expression of their pain throughout the interwebs and in books) have been violated in a way that resonates throughout their entire race and culture. And it will resonate for all of time. Survival. They are trapped (especially the "type" of black person who is depicted as "the thug") within a box that white people drew for them, and then they're shot at (literally and figuratively, and yes, I will slap the person who updated the dictionary to appease the idiots if I ever meet this person) like fish in a barrel. This is not what I would call a "healthy" environment for the development of human people, no matter the race, duh (and of course, i speak to the narrow depictions of black people, as black culture and black people are as varied as any other race of people living on Earth). Nevertheless, it pales in comparison to what the poorest among humans (not mere black united statesians) of planet Earth have to survive through on an ongoing, never ending loop. And yes, black people, you're part of their suffering as citizens of these united states who benefit from the ongoing torture of others around the world. Sorry not sorry.

The strength of the whites is their ability to believe, so wholeheartedly, in their own might and power. It's unbelievable. Their weakness?, believing, so wholeheartedly, in their own perceived greatness.

My point is that there will always be trends. Different cultures, different races will ALWAYS value different things. The problem, for me, as a visitor of this "twenty-first" century is that humanity has yet to evolve to the place where that's a good thing. 

If you want to step outside your measly little, meaningless life for a minute, then think about humanity in the greater scheme of the universe. I know, you, "christ followers" aren't allowed to believe in a larger universe as people so specifically designed by your "god," BAHAHAHAHAHA! *barf*

If you dare, then fucking think about yourself as a part of a whole, the whole of humanity. Fucking, duh! Like we're all here. We're all human. The literal differences between us are superficial. I have straight dark hair and small facial features. My skin is lighter but soaks up the sun well, so I can run the gamut on skin tone. Others are more well-prepared to soak up the sun and have dark skin, larger darker features perfectly suited for the environment in which the entirety of their genetic history lived. Like, get over yourself. We are all products of past humans who survived the conditions in which they were forced to survive. We're all out here suffering through our struggle to survive, every. single. day. day after day, week after week, year after year, until finally, one day, if we're lucky, our bodies have simply been lived out. 

Nobody is suffering more than others. The whites want you to believe that they are not suffering, but they are. It may seem like their suffering is less painful, because they all seem well-off enough to afford their lives, but they cannot. Yes, some of their suffering comes from financial struggle (all self-induced, mind you), but their real suffering is that they have no culture; if they do, it is one of consumption, and well, just look at them. They have no culture; they aren't a race. They're like leaderless wanderers, stabbing into the darkness wondering why it's so dark in here, when they are the ones who destroyed all of the light sources. 

The fact that some people want to hate and harm others simply for being different is the most disgusting, outrageous crime against humanity brought upon us BY HUMANS! 


The point is less about celebrating diversity and trying our damndest to "include everyone" and more about realizing that to demand that each race be represented by that race's human achievement is racism. Indians demanding that they get all the credit for "yoga" is racist. Asians demanding that they get all the credit for "math" is racist. Blacks demanding that they get all the credit for everything "cool" is racist. 

Like, when did everyone get this so ass-fucking backward? (It's perfectly normal to be gay, like get over yourself.) 

The first Native American to win a Grammy!

The first Black Woman to win an Emmy in eighty years!

The first Asian-American to lead a movie!

These are all incredibly RACIST statements! Like, DUH! FUCK!

It is our differences as a HUMAN SPECIES that ensures our survival. One race cannot rule them all because one race cannot know everything that there is to know. Yes, I know that the whites have done a pretty good job of convincing themselves that they can, and that they are the supreme race, but like, just on a superficial note, look how ugly they are? Not just like physically, like duh, they're hideous to look at, but look at their souls. White culture is ugly. Their reign will be short, because they are an ugly peoples. 

And so, what is the answer? The answer is to stop being so caught up on your individuality. Stop trying so hard to express yourself as a person that is not part of the human race. Stop emphasizing what fucking diversity boxes you check, taking a holier-than-thou position because not only are you a minority woman, you're also gay! This is not what makes you more or less worthy of being treated like a human. You should be treated like a human BECAUSE YOU ARE HUMAN! Not some weird-ass queer. 

("wah! boo! hiss! she so obviously doesn't get it! it's because we {the "diversity troop"} have been robbed of our humanity that we must highlight it, stand for the equity of everyone else just like me! we have been considered less-than human for all of human history! check your privilege!" to which I respond, "majority rules.") 

And like, enough with the pronouns and sexuality train. Like, seriously. EVERYONE ISN'T DYING TO KNOW WHAT GENITALS YOU HAVE!!! FUCK!

That's that. 

Signing off as an east-asian, transracial, orphaned human female woman. If only I were gay!

[end note] The high school from which I graduated did not utilize a weighted GPA, and so, I was, thusly, not valedictorian (cause I had an 89.8 [or something close] in spanish, due to my hectic schedule that I will address next), and even if it did, how do you compare the A's I received from an off-campus med-prep program for seniors that I attended as a junior to the grades of a student who got straight A's in the basic requirements that high school demands and thusly, didn't take a single AP course, etc.? You can't. It didn't matter in the end. I don't have some sort of grudge, because at the end of the day, I won all of the academic scholarship money, cause, like I said, my high school stats, well, it wasn't even a competition, lol. I am a poor sport, cause I'ma sore winner. Always have been, always will be. "All I do is win, win, win." And winners don't garner friendships, cause well, most people can't stand living so intimately with the feeling of jealousy. *sigh* Bummer *shrug* ... for them! BAHAHAHAHA! 

03 February 2024

The Brown One & The White One | a comparative analysis that is, really, all about Kris Jenner, lol.

Okay, so we've finally arrived at this dreaded post wherein I write a comparative piece about two celebrities. I'd honestly not-write about either of them, but their so-called relevance in pop culture is undeniable, and they could not be more antithetical to each other.

[DISCLAIMER: I do not like Kim K or T Swift. I loathe them equally. Nevertheless, they are to be respected as important people to the overall future well-being of society at large as powerful, prominent, rich women of the 21st century. I would, obviously, include all powerful women, but I have too much respect for some of them to ever write critically about them, etc., and so, my comparative analysis will begin and end with these two, and since I so thoroughly do not enjoy either of them, I will refer to one as The White One and the other as The Brown One {Kim K was recently a Jeopardy! clue in a category about Armenians, etc.}.]


There's a thing called a "seamount." Some seamounts are active volcanoes and become islands, but what makes a seamount a seamount is that it doesn't quite reach the surface. Thus, I am going to utilize this idea to paint the picture that I'm trying to communicate with words. Officially, a seamount does not breach the surface of the water, and thus, does not become an island. Nevertheless, in my mind, all active, underwater volcanoes, are seamounts until they breach the surface as a volcanic island, for argument's sake.

With this idea, let's analyze the White One. 

She was born into nothing, really. Although, I've heard conflicting stories about how her father "invested" (read, encouraged with money) $300,000 into the record label that first recorded her music. Even though that is technically a lot of money, there are a surprising amount of United Statesians who have this kind of cash, think doctors, lawyers, etc. She was born, figuratively, on the ocean floor.

This is nothing compared to the Brown One's upbringing. Comparatively, the social status into which the Brown One was born far outweighs a mere $300,000 investment, making the White One, quite poor, relatively speaking. Thus, the White One embodies that go-get-em Dream of the United Statesian America. The Brown One, born on a then-dormant seamount, a continuation of that Dream.

Some hazard lights begin to blink in the distance, and then you pass a sign that reads "DETOUR AHEAD."

I've been seeing some threads on Threads with the theme of the United States not being the "only America," like, there are a lot of American (as in the continents North and South) countries, which means that there are more Americans that live not-in U.S. America than actually lives in the United Statesian America, but for the sake of this writing and having to repeat over and over again, United Statesian, I am going to refer to the "best" America, as the USA. bahahaha! jk, like relax.)

You hit a bump, and the road returns to its sleep-inducing thrum. 

The American Dream. 

The White One is the embodiment of the American Dream. The Brown One is a continuation of The Dream lived by the person to whom she was born. The outlier is Kris Jenner. KJ (if I can call her that) is the reason why the Brown One has succeeded, and anyone who thinks differently or does not understand KJ is a complete and utter misogynistic fool. KJ was/is a social climber who pulled herself into relevance. And she also did it with her pussy, although in a different way.

Entertainment is a fickle thing. Think about the ocean. Every once in a while, something will pop up upon the surface, and we can all see it and look at it, and talk about it while it's visible. Once that thing either runs out of air or becomes too bogged down, it sinks below the surface, and we don't see it anymore, and thusly, no longer care about it or whatever. 

The Brown One popped up to the surface when that sex tape made her famous. But she was just bobbing along like a beach ball atop the surface of fame. Knowing that entertainment fame is fleeting, KJ got to work, and she worked her ass off. KJ is the revival of the once-dormant seamount upon which the Brown One was born, churning away beneath the rudderless, substance-less fame of the Brown One's sex tape. KJ is not stupid. She understands the entertainment industry. KJ knew that the Brown One's success depended, fully, on whether or not KJ could successfully build an empire under the fleeting moment of fame that the Brown One experienced. And it worked. KJ lit up that dormant volcano until it breached the surface, and now The Brown One sits solidly, comfortably upon the island, above the surface, that her father started for her and with which her mother breached the surface. And KJ built one big enough to support all of her daughters. Fucking, RESPECT. 

The White One, however, came to fame through popularity, and thus, her so-called fame is really like a hotspot under the ocean keeping her on top of the surface, and what the White One has built is more like a raft, a Peruvian island of Lake Titicaca, if you will. Her popularity is like a hot water spout keeping her atop the surface, but there is really nothing of any substance supporting her fame. And however the ocean's currents decide to pull at her, she must morph. As a Sagittarius, this has been an easy thing for the White One to manage. Nevertheless, the problems that face the White One are ones of both sustainability and relevance. Most entertainers age out. Most entertainers don't make good entrepreneurs. Most entertainers have astronomical expenses. The White One, like the Brown One, works a lot, because they do not have $1,000 expenses, they have $100,000,000 expenses.

Trust me, you do not want to HAVE TO make $1,000,000 to support yourself. *barf*

So, yes, they are both in the same sorta camp, financially. 

They both have empires to run.

They both have people to please.

They both have massive expenses. 

The difference, however, between the Brown One's expenses and the White One's expenses, is that the Brown One has far greater latitude. Since KJ, the genius, was able to build that seamount into an island under the Brown One, the Brown One has real enterprise opportunities. The Brown One is in the position to hire the White One as an entertainer for one of her enterprises. The Brown One has elevated out of the entertainment sphere, and can do whatever the fuck she wants. She's sitting on a goddamn island. The White One is stuck within the sphere of entertainment, on a raft, which, as I've stated earlier, is a fickle thing, and nothing is beneath her except the hot air of her fans on the bottom of the ocean blowing hot air up at her to keep her relevant, sustain her fame.

What to make of any of this? 


I loathe both of them equally, and I respect them both, one more so than the other (Kim K), but there's respect there for both of them. 

Oh, and who am I to declare my respect and think that anyone should care?


This is all meaningless, and I'm the one who's spending my time writing about it, not you, so go fuck yourself. 

Happy Saturday ^..^

28 January 2024

Taking Inventory | 2024 in 'Beauty' as one who is often, 'not here, right now,' etc.

So, I've never been one to wear makeup, but I'm no Luddite. There was a time when I thoroughly enjoyed the beauty videos made by the beautiful Korean-American YouTubers I enjoyed. I had never seen myself as beautiful, but watching these videos being made by fellow Korean-Americans (one's even an adoptee!), I finally started to enjoy my own face. 

Nevertheless, I still don't care for makeup, but I like the idea of a beauty GRWM-esque video, so I'm doing a version of that by taking inventory of my current "beauty" routine, which is actually more like a basic hygiene routine with a bit o' spritz.

Also, we've lived in six cities in the past ten years (eight cities since we got together), so my entire mentality behind my beauty routine has been revolving more and more heavily around portability. If it can't fly, I can't buy. Obviously, if I'm going to be someplace for a big-bottle's amount of time, then the bigger the bottle, the better the deal. 

First up, my basic hygiene routine ::

from top left to right
towel loofah (asian style)
Dr. Bronner's (the bodybuddy/lifemate wondered his whole life why his skin hated fossil-fuel based soap,
and so, we've been using all-natural soap for a long time now)
Cetaphil Daily Facial Cleanser (a 100% loyal user since 2015,
i start to panic if i can't find it in whatever city/country we're in now)
shampoo (no brand loyalty, i literally walk into walmart [or its foreign counterpart],
and which ever ones are the next price up from the bottom,
i choose among that price point)
contact solution (no brand loyalty, same sort of pricing mentality,
except in the case of walmart, they've secured both the bottom most
and second next floor price point with their own in-house Equate brand of contact solution, respect)
whatever contact case comes free with the bottle of solution
deodorant (no brand loyalty, the same pricing method applies here as with shampoo)
bath salts/soaps (no brand loyalty, one step up from the cheapest for this sorta thing, too,
all-natural, a must.)
Crest Baking Soda & Peroxide Whitening With Tartar Protection Fresh Mint
(100% brand loyalty, i become upset when we have to use a different kind of toothpaste,
even if its only for one tube's amount!)
toothbrushes (no brand loyalty, whatever is the best deal, &soft for fuck's sake).

I wash my face every morning when I wake up, and in the shower at the end of my day, when I know I'm not going to go outside again. I brush my teeth every morning as the last thing I do before leaving the house and as the last thing I do before I go to bed. I rub a stick of plain old deodorant (i know about yea, all natural whatnot. i just, i know!) under each arm pit every morning. Most days I bathe in an Epsom salt bath at the end of my day, and when I shower, I scrub with a towel loofah and an all-natural soap. 

My scent game is as follows ::

from left to right
Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue Eau De Toilette 50 ml
Chasing Fireflies by Bath & Body Works Fine Fragrance Mist 75 ml

When I was in high school, I think that I wore either some Vicki's or Bath & Body Works body spray. Nothing fancy. While living in Syracuse, NY, during a year-long break I needed during college, I danced every day, jobbed a few days a week (in a mall!) for $7.12/hr (i think, don't quote the exact amount, it was somewhere around there), and lived on my own in a woman's house from whom I rented a room for a flat $300/month. I sold my old 1995 Mazda 626 in Colorado for $3,000 and put that money down on a 2004 Blue New Beetle in New York, for $5,000. It was my first "new" car, and I made $125 ($105? somewhere between $105 and $125 *eyeroll*) payments each month for five years to pay off the first loan ($2,000) I had ever taken on all by myself*. Paying that baby off with a perfect payment history was one of the highlights of my financial life, thus far. It was awesome, and it was during this time in Syracuse that I discovered Dolce & Gabbana's Light Blue. I will literally cry the day this scent is discontinued. I also picked up a body spray on my birthday from ... Bath & Body Works, lol, for jobbing. It's a much louder (&cheaper) scent, so I can really over-dose on it, and bother everyone with my spritz. Deal with it.

Finally, my makeup routine ::

some Rocky Ford Raspberry LIP BALM 
Rocky Mountain Fresh
Hand Churned + Hand Poured
Soothing Butters For Your Kisser
Colorado Collection

I used to have eyeliner and blush, but neither of those things made it during the "did i even use it once last year? if not, i'm throwing it out," new year routine of 2015. And so, now the entirety of my "beauty" routine has devolved into lip balm, and I'm not even loyal to any particular type of lip balm. I, obviously, went through my Burt's Bees phase, but once it got bought, I quit that shit. Then it took me a long time to find a new lip balm to which to pledge my allegiance, and I am still on the hunt. Plus, I'm cheaper than ever, so lately, I've been sticking to whatever lip balm is swag &or easily lifted by a five-finger discount, etc., jk, *ah hem*

And there you have it. 

To, 2024! So much and more!

*I sold that car to my adopted dad (he had the original version back in the day, in blue, lol) for $3,000 in 2013 cause we were moving to South Korea, and he wanted my car. He wanted to drive around in it and be happy. &that $3,000 covered all of the consumer debt we had and the expenses of our 2013 move so that we arrived in South Korea with only student loan debt. &we've been free of consumer debt, ever since.

Maybe it's Whiteness | on Barbie, the movie, and its creator, a Fraud.


I definitely did NOT want to write about this, but since I'ma writer, I don't necessarily have complete control over what I do and do not write. If writing does not make you feel alive, please do not comment. You haven't the right.

The problem is that Barbie, the movie, is (had been, depending on *when* you are) dominating the internet news cycle, and I could not escape it, even on Threads, the social media app. Naturally, I started to think about it, cause I will admit that the movie was well-made. As a big-budget production, it is a good movie. Whatever about the story, for now. Gerwig is obviously more than capable of putting together an enormous film production. Bravo. The problem(s), for me, arose when the narrative around the Oscars, entertainment's Patriarchal Flagship, began to revolve around Barbie being "wrongfully" labelled as an adapted screenplay and being "snubbed." 

Then Whoopi said the incredible thing, "Everybody doesn't win." [clap. clap. clap.]

And then, I was satisfied that the specific demographic of highly educated Black Women on Threads was just eating it up and tearing it apart. 

But then, I couldn't stop thinking about it. 

And then, I tried to come up with a good metaphor about the situation, and the first one is the obvious one, the cliche :: 

Gerwig, having made a movie about the patriarchy, and then complaining that that same patriarchy does not reward her for her efforts (which is incorrect because the movie has been nominated, but I'll circle back to that one) is embodying the forewarning that one ought not "Bite the hand that feeds it." 

Gerwig took a tiny little stab at a group of people in power, and now she's pissed that she's not being patted on the head by this same group (even though she is)?

And now we've moved onto the next problem ::

It's an adapted screenplay because the character already existed and was created by someone else. 

Nobody would call a story about Frodo Baggins "original." So, like, go fuck yourself.

Next! ::

Gerwig took a tiny little stab at the patriarchy. Like so tiny that most of us women, those who've been traveling down this road a bit longer and with a little more gumption, were wholeheartedly disappointed by the soft-core nature of this not-so-ground-breaking work of women's empowerment, etc.

Instead of dragging Gerwig for simply not being as smart as we all wish she were, we should be glad that she's on her journey, and on this journey, she has decided to make big-budget entertainment for the masses about women. A lot of women do not even believe that the patriarchy is a bad thing for them. And so, after I was thoroughly depressed by Barbie for about three solid weeks, I am beginning to realize, now, that Gerwig has done us a tiny favor.

Yes, we can be disappointed that a prominent white woman still doesn't really get it, but she is getting it.

Overall, she's raised the cultural consciousness around "feminism" and what it means to be a "feminist" to a slightly higher given.

Would we save a lot of time by lifting more educated, more enlightened voices? Of course. Would it be even more valuable to hear diverse perspectives, especially when prominent Black Woman Voices are typically triply educated? Yes, absolutely.

Gerwig is who we've got, at the moment. Sure it'd be great if she were a bit smarter, but we don't need to honor or shame her.

And then the rub finally breaks the skin, and those little specks of blood begin to ooze from my pores ::

Why does she even care about being validated by the patriarchy itself? 

Why even legitimize the patriarchy by attending the Oscars, accepting the nominations she did receive? 



Only a fraud would be so blinded by their own ego to mistake the message of their own movie. 

Only a fraud would make a movie about how terrible the patriarchy is and then beg and then subsequently bitch at that same patriarchy for an award. The behavior is so White it makes me sick.

And so, maybe the problem isn't the patriarchy. Maybe it's Whiteness.