30 April 2023

First Meal | 비빔밥 w/ 물냉면

(don't mind the time stamp; it is only relatively correct)

13 April 2023

a walk + a flower field

... "but, Ladybug ..."

"No butts, Lingerer. Do not wallow in the past where your failures reside. Make your fails your friends who will teach you and guide you so that you are not alone on your journey. Press on! Into the future and smile for the moment when you will finally succeed," Ladybug demands. 

The cat turns about itself, stands for a moment, then finally sits itself into a little loaf, "But, Ladyb ..."

"No butts, Lingerer. Your future cannot unfold without you," Ladybug reminds. 

"But, Ladybug!" the Lingerer, standing now, is finally able to shout aloud.

Ladybug buzzes and lands on the tip of the cat's nose, arms akimbo, taunting. 

"Bu, but, Ladybug. I'm sad," the Lingerer whimpers, barely audible.

"Oh," Ladybug relaxes and slumps onto its haunches as the cat sits back, eyes closed, nose pointing to the ground. 

After a moment of sitting, understanding, Ladybug suggests, "There's a flower field not too far from here. I visit it all the time to see my favorite blooms and my favorite friends. Wanna go for a walk?"

The cat stands and flicks Ladybug up off its nose and onto the top of its head, "Yes." 

in my nonfiction life, i received this bouquet of "we'll miss you" flowers
&a carrot cake from my manager and coworker yesterday,
bc we (the bodybuddy/lifemate and i) are embarking on
the next chapter of our lives with a relocation to the State of Hawai'i, USA

10 April 2023

when i identified as a 'vegetarian' (during my experimental college years) i scoured cookbooks&magazines for recipes that were veg-friendly, &i found this recipe in some magazine that I cannot remember now, so I apologize that I cannot give credit where credit is due, nevertheless, I subbed veg-sausage back in the day, &the recipe became my fave pasta dish; this version, however, I made with a meat sausage

Sausage (meat or meatless is great, but it definitely needs to be a form of sausage) 
& Goat Cheese Penne

Non-Food Stuff:

large skillet or caste iron pan
large pot to boil pasta
some type of large spatula (for mixing in the large skillet)
some type of large spoon (for stirring in the large pot)


one large yellow onion
one small bulb of garlic (or about 10 peeled pieces)
2 pounds of roma tomatoes or 16 oz can of diced tomatoes (juice drained)
sausage to taste (get as much or as little as you want to eat)
a tube chunk of goat cheese
half of one cup of olive oil (or vegetable or canola is fine) + one splash of oil for the pasta water
one pound box of penne pasta
salt & fresh cracked pepper 
a smattering of spices (onion powder, garlic powder, basil, oregano)
splash of soy sauce
bread (fresh french loaf is ideal, any type of bread-like eats is fine)

Cook Time: about 90 minutes

the doing of it ...

first, fill the large pot with water enough to cook the box of penne pasta (there are instructions on the box) and set the pot on the stove over HIGH heat, drop in about two big spoonfuls of salt and the splash of oil (whatever kind you have is great, olive oil is ideal for this recipe) 

once the water is set up, set your skillet on another burner and turn to MEDIUM LOW heat (if your stove top range has a nob to adjust the temperature, and the nob is a clock, you want to set the temperature to about 9 o'clock) and pour the half cup of oil into the pan

while the skillet is warming, slice the pointy top off your onion and then slice your onion in half from pointy top to pubey bottom, peel away the papery skin until you reach skinny white succulence, lay one half of the onion down on its flat already cut side, and slice into thin half circles (I typically go for about an eighth of an inch, but not paper thin), then slice up the other half of onion

once the onion is prepared, throw the onion into the skillet

if your pasta waster begins to boil at any point, turn the heat off, put a lid on the pot and let it sit until we're ready to make the pasta

stir the onions around in the oil, turn the heat up to MEDIUM heat (about 6 o'clock), hot enough to sizzle but not crackle 

as the onions cook down, peel and chop your garlic and set aside

you can also open your can of tomatoes (the original recipe I learned was for fresh roma tomatoes, but I find that demanding that ingredient can be a bit pretentious, and I think that canned tomatoes work really well in this dish because the recipe demands time to break down the tomatoes, and so, there's time to work out the canniness of canned tomatoes, etc.)

once the onions begin to smell (when the smell fills the entirety of your living space) turn the heat up a notch above medium (around 7 o'clock) at this point, you need to watch your onions, stir them often, but you also want them to "give up" so let them go on the heat for a few minutes at a time, and then, suddenly, the smell of the onions will become pleasant (I find that this can take up to twenty minutes, cause the temperature needs to be low enough that the onions don't burn) and they will begin to change color, darken

at this moment, add a healthy pinch or two of salt and scoop in the garlic 

give the onion and garlic a stir and let simmer for only about five minutes

add the tomatoes and stir again

add the smattering of spices (about a teaspoon of each) and the splash of soy sauce and stir again

turn the heat up to MEDIUM HIGH (about 3 o'clock) until the sauce begins to bubble and then turn the heat down to MEDIUM (about 6 o'clock) for the remainder of the simmering time

after the sauce has been simmering for about ten minutes, return the pot full of water for the pasta to HIGH heat 

once the pasta water begins to boil, dump in your box of penne and set a timer for however much time is instructed on the box

after the pasta has been boiling for about a minute or two, give the pasta a stir

while the pasta is cooking, slice up your sausage and throw it into the sauce, let the sauce continue to simmer until the pasta is fully cooked

once your pasta timer has gone off, drain the pasta and then dump the pasta into the skillet with the sauce

mix the pasta well into the sauce

scoop a serving of pasta into a bowl

crumble the goat cheese chunk over the pasta 

drizzle a bit of olive oil over the top, crack a little fresh black pepper

serve hot with bread and enjoy!

[i made this version brunch style with a biscuit and fried egg]

09 April 2023

&upon waking, i know where it is i need to go, what it is i need to do

i have to be really well rested in order to reach out to my dreams 

when they reach out to me during that just-as-i-lose-consciousness state before a nap but, like i said, 

not in need of a nap. 

for it is within that moment, 

that moment of slipping consciousnesses, from conscious consciousness to unconscious consciousness, etc., 

a moment of psychological, what's the word, because i do not wish to attach any form of negative connotation to the process, but so, like, perhaps, something like, instability?, 

wherein my mind is not as sharp, 

and thus, 

my deep, interior subconscious mind can reach out, 

for that fragile moment in time, 

that tiny opening in space, 

and i can see myself, clearly but for a moment,

a single photon hitting my consciousness. 

02 April 2023

we don't have a full-length mirror [never have], so i asked the bodybuddy/lifemate to take my pic outside so that i could see myself in my #newboots + an OOTD!

&when he showed me the playback on the first picture, I looked at him ...

... &I looked at him ....

... &I looked at him ...

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. We're out here for boot pics." 


ima gif! refresh if i look like a still :)

from top to bottom

brown sunnies (walmart usd$15 before tax &shipping when applicable) late 2022
grey hoodie sweatshirt (walmart $10) c 2020 
&spray painted &embroidered w/a design of my own making
blue jeans (uniqlo ₩25,000) c 2014
삼각밥 pin (a local shop in Seoul 2/₩5,000 &we got four, two baps, a ketchup and a mustard) c 2016
long black bomber (노원 롯데백화점 ₩100,000) c 2016
black boots (timberland $89) c 2023

'there are black people in the future' by Alisha B. Wormsley as seen in In The Black Fantastic by Ekow Eshun

ima gif! refresh if i look like a still :)

2023 March Reads

 Year Goal: 11/53

8. Catching the Light by Joy Harjo [must read]

Nonfiction Poetry | 809.93353 HAR | 2023 | 122 pages

9. In the Black Fantastic by Ekow Eshun

Nonfiction | 700.8996 ESH | 2022 | 304 pages

10. Salty: lessons on eating, drinking, and living from revolutionary women by Alissa Wilkinson 

Nonfiction | 641.3002 WIL | 2022 | 194 pages

11. you are not alone: the NAMI guide to navigating mental health by Ken Duckworth, MD

Nonfiction | 362 DUC | 2022 |  432 pages  

Happy Reading!