you decided to quit your job
&the plan had not been to immediately jump into The Dream
cause you still needed to job a job
a few hours a week
cause really you quit
cause
whatanightmare!
so you did your duty and did some job hunting
cause you need something part-time
don't you?
deliver me my abundance in health
deliver me my health in body and mind
the bodybuddy/lifemate gets a job
&the job continues to suck him in through rounds and rounds and rounds
&rounds
of hoops
&now he's in
but the job
itself
is a rope on fire
lol
nevertheless
some freedom extended itself out to you
&with the momentum of excitement
a little fear
&lots of loathing
you're doing it
you're getting after The Dream
you got your machine
you set up your studio
you still need the mannequin
you question everything
&then you start to hurdle
[you simply cannot write about each and every single fucking hurdle any longer!]
until your neck
it gives out
after a first-jaunt snorkeling
&while laid up
your issues begin to fester
you question everything
you've been too still for too long
deliver me my abundance in health &wealth
deliver me my health in body and mind
deliver me my wealth in money and time
&then something clicks
"i'm the problem"
"i'm the one holding myself back"
"i'm the one paying a self-induced penance for moving here ... literally ... to 'paradise'"
"i'm the one feeling guilty, somehow, for getting myself to this figurative place, here, now"
"i'm the one punishing myself for my ability to get everything that i want from this life"
"i'm the one who thinks that i am supposed to be making sure that i'm not making anyone feel bad about themselves &or their lives"
"i'm the one who doesn't believe in myself"
"i'm the one making myself small, STILL!"
"I'm The One!"
&so you jumped off your ass
and got back to work
cause dammit
you're free!
to do whatever the fuck you want with your days
with your time
toward the pursuit of becoming a fashion designer!!!
&yea
it feels silly as fuck
&so
you suppose
that you're here now
everything's ready
you're prepared for further interpersonal issues
you're ringing the bells like your life depends on it
you've realigned and readjusted to receive
everything's ready
for YOU
&you're ready for ephwhyell volume 0.3
Congratulations, you ruddy bitch. We're officially setting up camp to be revered and adored.
deliver me my abundance in health &wealth &influence
deliver me my health in body and mind
deliver me my wealth in money and time
deliver me my influence as a thinker and fashion designer
deliver me my abundance in health &wealth &influence
ephwhyell volume 0.3
^..^
