... i am not "successful" by the metrics of "FAME"
but i do not want to be "famous"
... i am not thin enough to be a global KPOP star
but i do not want to be a global KPOP star
i don't even like to sing
... i am not well-known or heavily-followed on the internet
but i do not want to be well-known or heavily-followed anywhere for any reason
... nobody wants to pay me for my writing
but i do not want to pay for anyone else's creative output
... i used to be hot, and now, i'm old, and i didn't capitalize on my hotness when i was young
but i do not value my outer beauty the way i value my brain and knowledge
... the whole world only sees the tippy-tippy-tippy top of the tippy Top
but i exist at the Bottom, with everyone else.
I AM NOT-FAMOUS
but my goal in life has never been "TO BE FAMOUS"
so why the FUCK
am I so unhappy about being NOT-FAMOUS?
b/c i have somehow equated
FAME = WINNING?
winning what?
LIFE?
nobody really cares about you, as a famous person, they only care about your FAME, not you, the person.
if "famous" people felt cared about, they—"famous people"—wouldn't be notoriously
MISERABLE
what you want is for the people around you, in your every day life, to care about you, and on this scale—the human scale—everyone knows your name, because, on the Human Scale, you're a Winner. The Winner.
and the trade-off or PRICE of TOP OF THE TOP FAME AND TOP OF THE BOTTOM FAME
IS
FREEDOM
personal freedom
and for a Sag, like yourself, the price costs too much
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much
but you feel like a miserable LOSER, depressed like some fucking failure, because you are "not-famous" on the inhuman scale of FAME
but you are famous
on the Human Scale of being a person
People you do not know know your name.
You can name everyone you've ever met, at least within the past ten years or so, and probably extending further back, but you don't want people to test you, or do you?
You share your life with someone who shares their life with you, and you are both the witness to the entirety of someone's entire adult life, and the holder of the secrets of that life.
You are you in front of everybody. No mask. Some fear. Far deeper than that. The Truth. A Bold Fighter.
Ruthless Deliverer
Honesty Demander
Shortcut Denier
Confident Decider
Diligent Divider
Creative Deliberater
Liar Demonizer
The Dragon Lady
never loses.
sometimes, maybe, she quits cause she's
sick of this shit, but she never loses.
