19 February 2026

when both feet hate that both shoes fit, lol



you are not only, but you are also.

#SEAblingK-Drama






you are not only poor, but you are also poor.
you are not only rich, but you are also rich.

you are not only racist, but you are also racist.
you are not only elitist, but you are also elitist.






you are not only uneducated, but you are also uneducated.
you are not only educated, but you are also educated.

you are not only hegemon-deniers, but you are also hegemon-deniers.
you are not only hegemon-subscribers, but you are also hegemon-subscribers.






you are not only feeling jealous, but you are also feeling jealous.
you are not only feeling superior, but you are also feeling superior.

you are not only feeling overlooked, but you are also feeling overlooked.
you are not only feeling revered, but you are also feeling revered.

you are not only punching up, but you are also punching up.
you are not only punching down, but you are also punching down.




you are; and so are you.










[re the pics]
for the gregorian new year
i found the most-perfect
three-rows of kitties
(one for each comma ;)
&for lunar new year
all i wanted was gold
&i said so
out loud
a number of times
on new year's day
and by the time stores started to finally open
we went out
&i found these most perfect
three-stoned
earrings!
($24.99 for a pack of three sets of studs
not-real gold
but supposedly 14k-gold plated stainless steel
that enter the holes from the back
&i can sleep in them!
#success when considering my lifelong #goals
to have a "look"
lol
we'll see how long these bad-girls last
lol)
as i am
literally
moments away from breaking 300K-views
on this site
lol
the necklace is not new
but has been newly-decided to be worn

15 February 2026

when it seems like everyone does, but everyone doesn't.

yea, we're obviously watching the winter olympics, cause like, we're home-internet-paying millennial-adults (yes, some millennial-adults do not have internet at home, gasp!), cause it's included in our total, flat-rate, monthly rental payment (along with utilities), and here, in honolulu, the included internet provider forces us to have a cable subscription, in order to have internet, but then, all of the sudden, over the past year and a half, or so, our cable/internet subscription has morphed into subscriptions to four big streamers (and a couple worthless streamers), and if we hold out long enough, we will have all of the big streamers at our fingertips for the low-low price included in our rent, lol, jk, we'll never pay for netflix, lol. 

anyway, this is not a post about streaming services, despite the opening *sigh*

this post is about the winter olympics and why i have never really been able to "get into" them, etc.

despite my general *meh* about the winter olympics, we have been watching a few events, cause, as night-jobbers, we are home quite early in the morning, and so, we've been able to watch the events live LIVE, and really, live LIVE is really the only way to really enjoy any sorta sporting event, imho *ugh*

generally speaking, i have never really been "into" the winter olympics. i am, generally speaking, a huge fan of the summer olympics, because of gymnastics and track &field. and i've never really been able to pin-point exactly why it is that i don't care much for the winter olympics, in general, until this current cycle *phew*

the summer olympics is a true feat of meritocracy. 
anyone who wants to run, can run.
no equipment necessary, not even shoes.

the winter olympics is a gauche display of privilege.

&i grew up with the exact sort of privilege that breeds winter olympians,
and the playing field is the opposite of meritocracy;
it's Elitism. 

winter sports are for the "Elites" with both time and money ... to spare.

&there is a small community of locals (like me from families like mine) who live in these "Elite" areas of the world who get to enjoy these winter sports, too, but even among the locals, only a few can actually afford to "go the distance" for a child with a particular penchant for snow-sports. 

&so, we are not watching a competition of the "best" athletes;
we are watching a competition of the "richest" athletes;
a sort of spectacle for the already-endowed,
and it's sorta gross.

it's not so much sport
as it is pageantry.




Neil and Melody Camas

this is a phone-camera pic of a photo-printer print-off of a digital snap of a physical photo
lol
date of actual picture
unknown

the below pics are good old-fashioned developed/printed film
arranged on our front-closet door
shot with my phone camera
&range in dates between 1989ish - 2009ish


  




&i've always sorta hated the asian-americans who bitch about "representation" as if they would've never pursued their sport if they had never seen another asian doing winter sports, etc.

&this is what asian-americans fundamentally do not understand about korean adoptees. we're everywhere. we've been everywhere for a long time, and none of us ever needed representation to do our thing. 

nobody needs representation to achieve greatness;
if you're great,
you're great.

any and everyone who is ever a First had no representation, duh. 

&the rise of asian-ness in winter sports is mostly a matter of numbers, and wealth, and privilege. 

some countries, literally, do not have cold, snowy winters *iroll*

&yea, i talk a big game about skiing/snowboarding, calling out posers, laughing at wannabes, cause, even though it's been a long time since i hit the slopes, if i were to hit the slopes tomorrow, i can confidently say that (unless you're a competitive skier/snowboarder) i can ski and snowboard waaaay better than you. i can ski anything, but i prefer to snowboard, and i only like to cruise.

&yea, digging around to find these pics made me realize that 99% of the time i spent on the mountain was with my adopted family, and then i had to decide whether or not to post these pics, and then i had a think about how, when i was growing up, it seemed like everyone i knew skied/snowboarded, but it's not true that everyone did, and that's when i pinpointed the ick that the winter olympics makes me feel.

nevertheless, it's hilarious to me that three asians (specifically two koreans) topped the podium for a snowboarding event, and that they were born at a time when i started snowboarding, a time when snowboarding was not-permitted on aspen mountain, lol. 

to this day, i'll still not ride aspen.
if i spent a week on the slopes,
i'd spend one day skiing highlands,
one half-day boarding buttermilk,
and five whole days riding snowmass
(maybe one day skiing). 













[end note]
&i'd bet that
to this day
my adopted dad is still upset that i became a knuckle-dragger
lol
he really thought the world of my skiing ability
&it reminds me of a time when i went to breckenridge* with an old boyfriend and his dad
&we saw his dad from the lift one time
&i felt so embarrassed for his dad
&i basically knew that our relationship would not last
my dad would be so disappointed
by contrast
the first time the bodybuddy/lifemate and i rode around snowmass
i fell even deeper in love
cause we both had the same idea about riding the slopes
we're just riding our snowboards around the mountain to get snacks
like
duh


*i, by seriously good fortune, have been able to ride the "five mountains" of the colorado front range, as well, and for free (this is what friends are for, btw), and i gotta say, it sucks, lol. breckenridge is waaay too crowded, and it's not worth the wait. winter park is such a fucking nightmare of a drive, but the slopes are sweet, i'll give 'em that. a-basin is for beginners, so it is actually kinda fun, if you're willing to dodge the newbies right and left, but you risk getting seriously taken out by one of them. vail (i'm from the roaring fork valley; i am obligated to hate vail), totally hate, but seriously, the logistics of the town/mountain totally sucks. beaver creek actually had some really fun runs, but again, if i'm already at beaver creek, i'm just gonna drive all the way into the valley, for the realest ski town there is, and yea, i'ma be snooty about it, cause if you know, you know.

08 February 2026

다.

On the Superiority of the White American



my birth mother gave me this necklace
the last time i saw her
when we were moving out of 서울시 back in 2018
i wore it for a minute
when we were in aotearoa for a minute
but i already had a necklace that i never took off
so i packed it away
until today
when i decided that i'd start wearing it
cause i'd sorta retired the spinel
(after it made sporadic, sputtered appearances off and on my neck all of last year)
and then i realized that i wanted to take a pic of myself in this old/new necklace
cause i haven't really worn it
and also so that i could write this post about it
and bring up the fact that i'm an adoptee
yet again
*yawn*
and in so doing
i would be able to bring up the reason why i have yet to "say anything"
with regards to the "state of the world"
and by "world"
white-americans mean
"the united states of america"

the reason why i find myself with nothing to say is because ::
a) i grew up in a place where "illegal immigrants" were the norm
b) i am not an immigrant; i am an adoptee,
and so my globeaux perspective is not one built on immigration,
and yet, i am familiar with what it's like to be treated as an "other,"
nevertheless,
i have also grown up with privileges typically doled out to only those who are "white."

a) i was raised in a little town in the roaring fork valley within the mountains of colorado where
"illegal immigrants" were a heavily relied upon jobforce
and these "illegal" jobbers came from all over the world
"they" were everywhere
and "they" were deported
frequently
only to return
lol
because the place where i grew up
was a seasonal hot-spot
and i was adopted into a white-family home that raised me in this place
and in this white-family home
someone being mexican was whispered
and if i described a classmate as mexican
i was told to "shush! don't call them that."

same for the bodybuddy/lifemate.
same for probably most of my peers from colorado at this time.

the high school senior year book has a literal separate section for the latino students
literally
two complete year books in one
*vomits*

i think it made the white people
feel good
about their "position" in this life

b) i attended baylor university in waco
texas
my freshman year of college
and i submitted my dorm selection in order of preference
and i got my first-pick dorm
and after a week or two of getting a lay of the land
i met exactly three other asians and one black student
everyone else was white
three of us asians were korean-adoptees
which means that we had white names on our applications
and the other two not-white students were
apparently
the black/asian tokens
i
obviously
had no idea what was happening until i arrived at my first korean-language class
(my choice for foreign language credits, lol)
and a lot of korean-americans were in this class, lol
and they all lived in the same dorm
a shitty dorm
(i don't actually know if it's "shitty," cause i never saw it on the inside; it's what i was told, etc.)
at the far end of campus
the shitty dorm
where all of the globeaux students all lived
together

also
it seems like mostly city-dwelling libtards
who are irate
like
it's almost as if these city-dwelling libtards had no idea that anything like what's going on now
was ever going on
here
on Empire
and it's almost like they're clueless about how living here
on Empire
"illegally"
is risky
so risky
in fact
that people
families
entire populations of people risk their lives
to get here
and yea
it's not fair that some people can get here easily
while others suffer and struggle
it's not fair that some children are dragged here
at an age too young to know what's happening to them
it's not fair that Elitism is a thing
it's not fair
but fairness has never been part of any of this

from my point of view
which is arbitrary and "from the outside"
none of this is new
and if you think that the violence is new
it's not
past presidents simply had a lot more tact

but white people have really never cared about reform or issues regarding immigration
until now
as it pertains to their chosen white-image
and the way that it looks against the current alternative white-image

it serves these types well
to be pro-immigration
rn

and in the context of human history
well
it's textbook

and so
if you're upset that i have not "spoken up" about the "state of the world"
what is it that you would like for me to say?
i'm not surprised?
what an atrocity?
stop it, guys?
justice for fill-in-the-blank?

if you do not understand what's happening
now
and how it differs from police brutality
which i've seen morphed into "polICE brutality"
*ugh*
then you're sorta part of the problem

you're what's called a non-reader.

"
first as tragedy
then as farce
"

and yea
things are going to get markedly worse
before they get better
but this has literally been the messaging since
like
the dawn of this century

so if you're the "losing sleep" over this shit
type
pick up a book about history
and fucking read it
you'll feel better
i promise

and if you're the
"none of this is about me! i'm irate for thhheeeeehhhm!"
type
well
i have some sour news for you
cause
it is literally your fault
that you haven't done enough
or anything
(amirite)
for immigration-reform
on Empire









the world cannot be something other than what it is
and it is your responsibility to understand what it is that the world is
and with that knowledge and understanding
you become part of the world
not a judge
not a participant
not an other
not less-than human
not even human-human
but rather
part
one singular
meaningless part
of a larger whole
that belongs within
all of this
everything
the world
ALL of LIFE
no one is well
unless ALL is well
다.



05 February 2026

an Evolution in Edits | 2025 to 2016


excited for whatever 2026 inspires
[03.03.2026]
*shrug*
the one thing i know
for certain
is that the front-facing-camera selfie
is dead
(to me)















late 2025
2023 (more for video than photo)
2022 (also more for video than photo)
2016 (i don't use the same editors that i used to use, so specific frame styles are not available on the editors i use now)


Happy Snappin'
^..^