Solo Solace

"Solo Solace" by 선 2025 may from the album Support Systems

approximately 8" x 5" unframed poster board

&rubber cement

presented on brown bag paper

paper from Vogue magazine (24dec-25may)

&PAPER PAPER PAPER: The Botanical Collection

buckle up [both literally&figuratively]!; for your own safety&sanity [respectively], i've got some thoughts on some stuff

on Friendship or Why are you talking to me like this?

Prelude

it's best to know how someone defines a word

when that word has many possible interpretations

so just ask

if you don't know

or aren't sure

because to me

being not not-friends does not equal being friends

&i can guarantee you

that my idea of friendship

is not your idea of friendship

so ask better questions

knowing the passcode at the gate does not mean you know me.

it means that you know the passcode.

successfully navigating the lock at the front gate does not mean you're now sitting in my bedroom.
why do you think that i want to play games?
why do you think that i play games?
why do you think that i like people who play games?
either tell me or not, i am not going to waste a drop of my Time trying to guess something about you.
what does it feel like to be so completely, utterly wrong about someone?

it's a feeling i will never be able to experience.
these sorts of social instances, ought to make you look inside yourself.
i am not the problem.
you are.

A Tale of Three Men

Man 1 (a latino) 
you move from early-morning to night-crew

he comes up to you after finding out

"Oh, I heard you weaseled your way into night-crew."

weaseled?

you wonder, &then realize

cause he's waiting around to be chosen?! 

BAHAHAHAHAHA!

Man 2 (an asian) 

you have different jobs at different companies, but your jobpaths cross

soon, you learn, they will not cross

he asks for your socials

you lie &say you don't use any

cause you run this website

he shows you his

&you tell him you'll decide

&the look on his face

when you tell him you'll decide

is not a look

that can be bought with money

but you're not sure if he knows you're not-single

(you don't wear a ring at your job, and it does make some of them around here need to know, but you ooze zero availability, and mostly, the men are perceptive of this)

you shoot him down

now you will not cross jobpaths

anymore

he informs

as he suggests exchanging numbers

or at least your website?

&you shoot him down again

&on the last day that he thinks you'll ever cross job paths

(you will likely cross jobpaths, iyo)
he fists bumps you

with a really friendly smile

cause he's only ever been really nice

(except that one time he tried to tell you what good kimchi is)

&you decide

Man 3 (a latino)  

you receive a letter from a youngster

to whom you reached out a helping hand

while your paths crossed

for a few months

five years ago

&in the letter

it's obvious to you that

he thinks that your batteries are charged by your ego

so he strokes it

&from his perspective

it works

you respond

&then he rings his death bell

&says

in so many words

"I know that you ..."

let me stop you right there

you "know"?

you think that you know me?

why?

you literally do not know where i am living now

you literally do not know how i am called these days

you literally do not know toward what i am striving

cause you asked all of these questions

&you're coming at me

as if my telling you of these things

means you're holding my secrets?

why?

also, you are not a curious person

you literally didn't look up a word you didn't know

&decided to guess instead

because what you really wanted to know

was what I think of you

&that's not curiosity

that's narcissism

p.s. it's "ciao" btw 

look. it. up. goddammit!

Never. The. Less.

i will always have a soft spot for the brave

on Notebooks

you never have it when you need it

&you never need it when you have it

on Memoirs (by ppl under sixty, MC excepted)

no

i do not want to read your "book"

*eyeroll*

the only thing you can think to write about

is yourself?

&you're a chef!

&you loathe the idea of a cookbook?

on Kristen Kish

girl, you're in for a big surprise

&it's going to totally suck

that you're already famous

cause the decision

now

is your own emotional well-being

or your career

*eek*

either way

your emotional well-being

or lack thereof

will determine your future

#facts

on Ego

you're not special 

cause you "know" someone

*eyeroll*

on Pride

the people who clutch onto their Labels &or Titles

are the MOST INSECURE PEOPLE ON THIS PLANET

you were warned

Yoga Channels about How to Do Yoga

"but why don't you write any tips on blogging?"

why would i blog

about blogging?

You know, that saying ...

if you don't have something nice to say

don't say anything at all?

well

my interpretation is something like

if you don't have something nice to say

(&i'm obviously speaking to face-to-face social human interaction)

why

say anything at all?

some Gen-Z are stupid

because they wonder about things like 

"why isn't real life on the internet?"

&they are not wondering in that cool

futuristic way

as if lamenting

that they cannot be plugged into the internet

no

they are wondering why everything online

is content

fake

not real

like

"why does no one show us real life

on the internet!"

&we

millennials

scratch our heads

i assume

as we look at them wondering

are you stupid?

FYI 

Musk is Gen X

She's Adorable

you're standing there

looking upon one of the "crazies"

&she walks up right next to you

a little close

not too close

but almost

&she just stands there

next to you

looking at what you're looking at

taking on your posture

&you look at her

from head to toe

smile

&walk away

... but what if you are the color of a brown paper bag?

Soul Sitter

"Soul Sitter" by 선 2025 may from the album Support Systems

approximately 13" x 9" unframed poster board

&rubber cement

presented on brown bag paper

paper from Vogue magazine (24dec-25may)

&PAPER PAPER PAPER: The Botanical Collection

you were surprised to see that you had something to say so soon ... after three months of crunches and wind sprints, here you are, back in shape ^..^

"Shoulder Stand" by 선* 2025 may &the lead single from the album Support Systems

approximately 11" x 5" unframed poster board

&rubber cement

presented on brown bag paper

paper from Vogue magazine (24dec-25may)

On Capturing Gen-Z

There's this either uTube video or Planet Earth or some other nature doc scene, and I cannot remember exactly where I saw it, and so I apologize for being unable to provide proper credit, nevertheless ...

a mommy elephant is a bit panicked cause a baby elephant is trapped in some mud

a few other elephants seem to be concerned, etc., etc., &c.

&then, a grandma elephant charges through

butt bumps the mommy out of the way
dunks her trunk into the mud
&blows the baby free

oh, to be The Giver of the exact right words to the exact right person at exactly the right time

"Shush up," Squirrel shushes.

"Rude," she yawns, as she conjures a new, fat-jay out of thin air.

"No, listen," Squirrel insists.

yea, but to be able to give the exact right words to the exact right person at exactly the right time means that ... [inaudible mumbling] ... you know, everything.

nobody can know all of the right words any given person would ...

They both hear the familiar voice of Ladybug.

"Lady!" they whisper-shout in unison.

&as she and Ladybug appear around the last bend, she and Squirrel see them, shouting, "Lady! We're over here!"

&the two shes lay eyes on each other; Ladybug blinks, &they disappear as they reappear equidistant between Squirrel and Ladybug as one. 

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" She screams aloud as She slumps into a heap on the ground.

Ladybug buzzes to her as quickly as he can while Squirrel takes one beautiful, long leap to her side. 

She rolls onto her back, eyes wide, arms wide, legs wide. 

"I hate you," She sighs.

"I know," Ladybug laments; "I hate me, too."

"&fuck you, Lingerer," She spits.

a saturday setup + an outing ootd

 

&she's back in filming mode!
if you've been around for more than one orbit
you know that this modus vivendi
rides the Time Tide
hard
&we're glad to ride this time of high tide

my girl, Sohj
has been posting some seriously righteous ootds
these days
&so
motivated by the paralyzing fear of being not-cool
do i look cool?

w/a surplus of mothers i'd rather not-talk to &a shortage of grandmothers i'd like to talk to [&unable to even dream of a great-grandmother], the reality of the situation is that i'm trying to find my sister

the Adoption Agency finally responded
after a second, follow-up email was sent
that birth-grandmother has no phone on file
&the birth-grandfather's phone on file is not working
&that
"We feel sorry about that"

you respond by asking if you can be given any/all contact information that they have on file

but you remember

that you were adamant

that my birth father

not-contact me

&so

the repercussions of this

might be that birth-grandmother &birth-grandfather

or worse

your sister

thought that they were lumped into this

no-contact situation

the Adoption Agency responded much quicker
years ago

to a different email
that they did not have any contact information on file
for the biological half-sister about whom the inquiry was sent

&so

you've got nothing but a few pics

a name

a two-year age-range

your name

&a family registration number

김선 & 김선미
summer 2005

MAY 2025 | as a subscriber

this periodical really puts the snail in snail mail
*iroll*

i was really hoping that i would get this cover
but i honestly couldn't even hope
bc i soooo badly did NOT want a certain cover
nevertheless
this is the cover i wanted
cause looooook at that face!
fuck the met gala or whateva
ugh
*drool*
on another note
i have already decided that i will not be renewing this subscription
at the end of this subscription
i will probably start shopping single issues around the Embers

leave me alone; i'm drowning, in Wins

LUCK
when Preparation
meets Opportunity

when dealing with uncertainty

times of uncertainty

moments of uncertainty

events of uncertainty

my coping methods have evolved

over a literal lifetime of uncertainty

you have also lived a lifetime of uncertainty

i am not-special

in this way

we are the same

in this way

thus

coping with uncertainty

is really the only way to "deal with it"

there is no

uncertainty going away

there is no

uncertainty disappearing

there is no

amount of money

that can rid your life

of uncertainty

the only tool we have

is mitigation

coping

methods

how do we cope with the uncertainty of life

&the uncertainties of living

sure

there are times when life is more or less uncertain

&these days

certainty is being outweighed by uncertainty

certainly

&so

mitigation

coping

how do we "deal with"

uncertainty?

for me

as an active pursuer of change

my most-prominent coping methods for uncertainty

are photography

writing

sewing

manicures

&cooking

i have to be in an extremely stable-feeling situation

for visual art-making

[photography &writing excepted]

but it is only because i have held onto these above things so tightly

during times of uncertainty

that these things have become

certain things 

upon which i can rely

for example

when i'm going through bouts of uncertainty

i want to reach for something certain

&there is a growing list of things that i can do

with great certainty

like

taking pictures

aka playing with my camera

writing fiction

aka playing with my characters

crocheting or cross-stitching

aka playing with thread

giving myself a manicure

aka a little priceless self-care

&or cooking

aka playing with food

the above examples of skills i utilize to create certainty in my life

when i'm feeling especially uncertain

have become methods of certainty

over time

these are skills that i've learned and practiced for most of my life

i can count on these skills

to create something

for which i am certain

will come to fruition

&c.

these days

literally

days filled with moment-by-moment uncertainty

&generally speaking

i always have my fridge stocked with ingredients to make either

김치찌개

or 된장찌개

these are two korean foods that i can cook with great certainty

when i accomplish cooking this meal for myself and the bodybuddy/lifemate

it's a victory

a Win

since i've had a camera in my hand for as long as i can remember

thanks to my adopted-father's own love of photography

i also know that i can snap a pretty righteous pic

with absolute certainty

at any place

at any time

another easy Win

since i've been actively calling myself a writer since early 2008

i can also sit down and jot a little work of fiction

with absolute certainty

&Win yet again

my adopted-father's step-mother

aka my adopted-grandmother taught me how to crochet, sew, and cross-stitch

when i was about eight years old

&so

when i'm feeling especially energetic

i can turn to these activities

to score another Win

with great certainty

&for a final example

i learned quite a ways back 

while shopping at walmart

when i noticed that all of the manicure supplies i see the manicure ladies use

are for sale to the general public

that one could simply

give one's self a manicure

&since it's been about ten years 

that i've been doing my own nails

i can now give myself manicures

most certainly

&for free

minus the cost of whatever new nail polish/sticker product i'm into these days

&the cost of cuticle cream (surprisingly expensive)

&nail files (dirt cheap)

especially in times of economic uncertainty

when every penny is being scrutinized

(we scrutinize every penny all the time)

having free or cheap methods of creating certainty surely doesn't hurt

of course

most of these methods do require money

but very little of it

&there are very few recurring expenses

&of the recurring expenses

they are cheap

&so

i originally posted this post with just the photograph

in a defiant petulance that i had nothing to say!

but then i added all this shit

after publishing

cause i feel like

during this time of extreme uncertainty

i know how to cope

&so

my hope

is that you know how

to cope

&if you don't know how to cope

i've outlined how i do it

&if you feel like it's too late to create these methods

that everything you do creates uncertainty

then there's no better time to start creating

methods of certainty

if for no other reason

than your own sanity

may your preparedness

be greeted by opportunity

stay safe out there

here's the thing that both white&black women seem to not-understand about east-asian women ... as east-asian women (&some south-east asians), we don't need you.

#facts

#notsorryimnotsorry

#youevermetablackpersonwhoassumedyourspecificasianess?

#youevermetablackpersonwhocouldnameanasiancountrythatyoumightbefrom?

#youevermetablackpersonwhothinksasiansknowwhatoppressionis?

#youevermetawhitepersonwhodidntguessthatyouarechinese?

#youevermetawhitepersonwhodidntbowtoyouawkwardlywhenfirstmeeting?

#youevermetablackorwhitepersonwhodoesntexplicitlyappropriatessomeasianculture?

#youevermetablackorwhitepersonwhounderstandsanasianculture?

#youevermetapersonwhodidntwannahavesexwithyou?

life &living on the long, lonesome lightpath

POWER

is knowing what you CAN

and absolutely CANNOT

control

HONOR

is knowing what you OUGHT

and absolutely OUGHT-NOT

control

after a seven-year spending moratorium on Marvel movies, i begged the bodybuddy/lifemate to see Thunderbolts*, haha!

&it was fantastic

becawoose

the Movie

tackled

of all things

mental health

depression

loneliness

the human reality of being SOCIAL CREATURES

&loneliness is exactly as depicted

a MIND TRAP

 'cause all you gotta do

is to BELIEVE

that everyone else is human, too

&that they

are lonely, too

just like you.