there's this buddhist philosophy about the idea of
non-attachment
impermanence
&it is the idea about which i write when i write about my
the goal
in so many words
is to accept the constant "loss" of everything
the impermanence of Life
its fragility
its essence
its Truth
that ALL Life
ultimately
Dies
nobody
and nothing
escapes this Life
ALIVE
&so
perhaps
to understand that Life
is but a Moment
is but a Means
&NOT the End
is to understand Life
itself
&i write about this idea
now
because i received another work of art
by none other than
&this time
it is
a painting
&the reason why i bring up these buddhist philosophies
is not because I am buddhist
[for i am not]
but rather
because there are a lot of psychological tools
that buddhism offers
that i find do truly lend a helping hand
at psychologically surviving
thereby physically surviving
thereby surviving
this thing
we all call
LIFE
&now
i am going to attempt to describe
what it is exactly
that made me realize
that Desi
ought-not be underestimated
&that
the person underestimating her the most
might possibly be
her own self
&so
i write
here's the thing that i know
that the rest of you who are reading this
do not know
and that thing is
the "how" about how these particular pieces of art
arrived to me
first
the [fifth] drawing [that she's given me]
arrived by mail
[the first four were delivered in person]
and was a total surprise
since the most-recent drawing [No. 05] arrived by mail
in a regular-ol envelope
wherein one would stuff
a tri-folded piece of eight-and-a-half-by-eleven
my first thought was that she had written me a letter
and i was thrilled
&then
i opened the thing
and found this drawing [No. 05]
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folded in half
inside the envelope
i was floored
i was shocked
i cried
if i had drawn something so beautiful for someone
i would not have been able to simply
fold the thing in half
and drop it in the mail
in a regular-ol envelope
but she did
she drew a most-beautiful thing
and basically thought nothing of it
she draws so frequently with so much talent
that she almost thinks nothing of her talent
she even told me that she basically sketched the thing
in about an hour!
like nothing
and then she folded it in half
and popped it in the mail
can you imagine?
i bet you cannot
because most people do not possess
talent
such as this
so that's the first bit
being talented
in such a way
that you can produce works of art
like breathing
but then
there's the added layer of simply popping this talent-fueled work of art
in the mail
with no protection
in essence
no attachment
&then i received this painting
very recently
again
in the mail
wrapped in
what i would consider
not-enough protection
and yet
here it is
another talent-fueled work of art
that the artist
herself
simply put into the mail
again
with little protection
in essence
no attachment
*sigh*
i see this behavior of hers
as a level of consciousness
a level of psychological maturity
and a general awareness
about LIFE
that leaves me in a state of AWE
yes
sure
i look at all of these works of art
that have been gifted to me
over the years
[i do consider myself a collector, these days ;]
and yes
of course
they are beautiful
but the thing that makes me cry
is the beauty of her mind
the psychological weight
of her non-attachment
exterior proof
of an immensely deep interior Life
she is a true gift
to all of us humans
living among her
&i feel truly
truly lucky
to have bumped into her all those years ago
and to be witness
to the beauty of a Life
that just gets it
that just moves
with such beauty
such honesty
such non-attachment
Thank you
Desi
for continuing to teach me things
by being fiercely you
i love you lots
&i loved you first
 |
| She, Legend [yes, the piece does not have a title, so i named it &no, this is nota pic from the day it arrived] &Dahling, of course I LOOOOOOVE IT &it will sit this close to me atop my desk until/unless i find a better spot for it but i doubt it |