02 August 2022

a July 'Wrap-Up' & an August 'Manifestation' (right? i'm to 'manifest' my deepest desires? i'm not mocking, i'm legitimately curious, so please, please feel free to inform; if i hear nothing back, i'll assume i 'get it,' etc.) | Sailor's Log No. 22.07J05

Time Travel Setting: the Past | a July "Wrap-Up" 

I'm not even gonna lie. July was a fucking nightmare, and I am so fully grateful that I've not only survived, but that it is now August. The month started out as usual, except that the bodybuddy/lifemate and I were beginning to feel the stress of our life—neither of us had had a break from our work and day jobs since November 2019, for him, and December 2020, for me. And both of our families have been really wringing us emotionally (the bodybuddy/lifemate received a "birthday" card from his mother, which was just a foil for a nasty, long, handwritten letter she wrote, which, in short, basically made him feel like shit). Yes, I know that we only work three days/week at our day jobs, but we also work from home the other four days, which means that we literally work every day of the week, and we do not celebrate any major United Statesian holidays in any significant way. I AM NOT COMPLAINING. I am quite satisfied with my life theses days, so much so that we worked for, literally, 560 days before collapsing into a heap, at which point we finally called into our jobs and took two weeks off. And so, we had our first official vacation—staycation because I refuse to get on an airplane, at this time, and we would normally rent a car for a few days, but that felt irresponsible this year—since returning to these United States in late 2018.

A few days into July I tweaked some little muscle or tendon deep inside my left shoulder, and, given my neck history, the thing went into a full-blown spasm, and I was laid up for about a week. So, I missed two shifts early into the month. The following weekend, I was menstruating, but I survived the week of shifts. And then, we ate something that definitely did not sit with us well, and the Company has a policy that if you have certain symptoms, you cannot do your job. Thus, we called in sick, and while we were both breaking down on our living room couch, he missing the first shift of his life (literally, he's never missed a day of work since I've known him, and I met him at a job we both had in college back in 2008, and even then, he never missed a day at that job, and then, obviously, we got together, and I've never witnessed him miss a single ephing day of work, like so crazy), I missing the third shift of the month and the most shifts ever, meaning I'd been able to drag my ass into my job for every single shift for a year and a half before breaking down and requiring a break.

Obviously, I am not attempting to paint us like some super-workers or anything. Trust me. We are far from over-extending ourselves at our jobs because we know what it means to be hourly-wage laborers. We do, however, go too hard on our own companies. If anything, I am trying to share our misgivings, which is that you should not take a break once you finally break down and MUST TAKE A BREAK. You need to be more responsible than we are and know when you are getting tired and then, request a break. I am an irresponsible laborer because I failed to recognize the signs that maybe I'm getting a little tired, and so, I had to take a break on the cuff. I was scheduled the week that I called in to start my vacation, not a responsible move. Nevertheless, I work a day job, as an hourly-wage laborer, so I'm not beating myself up here, either. I could literally not show up for two weeks, and then just show up again, and nobody would say anything. So, I did the bare minimum and at least informed them that I would not be showing up for two weeks. 

And so, our vacation began in mid-July, and we were back at the job last Wednesday, the 27th. We did a lot of relaxing and emotional tending. We even took time away from our responsibilities at our own companies. Obviously, there are some things that must be maintained, and so, we are never able to fully unplug for more than about three days, but again, I AM NOT COMPLAINING. We have designed our lives, and this is the life we have built for ourselves. To be frank, I love it. I'm merely sharing (more like documenting for my future self) a reminder of the lessons that we learned this past month about how we need to continuously update our life/work structure so that we are always living as sustainably as humanly possible so that we may enjoy this human life/work for as long as humanly possible. 

So I quit yoga, cold turkey, and I've replaced that exercise with a return to my ballet roots. It's basically one of the best decisions I've made in a really long time. And I made a bunch of workout videos, but I am undecided at this time as to whether or not I'll continue to make these types of videos. I do find them highly motivating, and I genuinely enjoy video editing (even more than photo editing, but please do not tell my old photography site this). But again, I had a lot of free time during our staycation to make them easily. And since we're shooting for the kind of drive that's sustainable, I do not yet know if I can carry my typical work load and make workout vids. I will try, obviously, but if I quit or only do it sporadically, I hope you'll understand (that is, if you even like them *shrug*). 

What else. 

I lowered my book goal to six books, and I read five, so that was good. Mostly, I simply needed to read more than I read last month, which was pitiful, but also telling of the fact that I really needed a break, some rest.

And this, I suppose, brings to me my final point, which is that I realized that there are a lot of hourly-wage laborers who literally cannot afford to take a break at all. The Company for which I currently work, is unionized. I accrue vacation days and sick hours, whether I want them or not. I was able to cash in multiple such benefits, which means that I missed five shifts, but only missed two days of pay. We could have used vacation days for those other two days if we had scheduled that time off beforehand, but since we don't live paycheck to paycheck, missing two shifts of pay is insignificant. My point is that 90% of the hourly-wage population of workers do not have benefits like this where they can take a break, and this is why—after reading headline after headline about union votes failing—I know that the majority of workers in These United States, do not know or understand Unions. I would've considered myself part of that ignorant cohort a mere two years ago, but after having worked for a company that is unionized for the past year and a half, my tune has changed. But honestly, it's not something I'm going to write about, at this moment, but I have come to the realization that I should write about it in the near future. 

In the end, July was shit, but I feel really grateful that I could afford to take some time off for my own sanity.

Time Travel Setting: the very-near Future | an August "Manifestation"

Book Goal: 9 

Our transit district, RTD, in Colorado is running a “Zero Fare for Better Air” public transportation environmental program thing-a-ma-bob through the month of August, being car-less bike-edstrians (come rain, shine or snow, as we absolutely do not support the personal ownership of any type of vehicle that quickens the warming of this planet) we took a few bus trips around the Front Range, hit up Boulder and Denver.

I remembered to remind myself of my reminders.

I grew stronger by practicing gratitude and exercising my aging ballet body.

I strengthened my mind in mental preparation for the inevitable liftoff of our rocket ship. 

I found new sustainability in my work flow/life balance/drive sustainability.

I wrote my ass off and had a great time doing it. 

One of my creations went viral (either a writing or a video on theTube or KakaoStory, I can't say for sure) went viral (lol, and I laugh here cause I don't like make like the type of like stuff that like goes viral, etc., but I did! I went viral!)!

The bodybuddy/lifemate wanted me to start documenting his bakes, so I've done that, and I'm the official videographer/editor of his bakes vids, which is ironic given the fact that he is the one of us who, literally, has a BFA in film making, ugh. 

I realized that I'm doing it and that the initial liftoff force of gravity is no longer crushing me, even though I can feel it and all of its weight.

September is going to be a game-changer. Fact. 

Time Travel Setting: the Past Presently | last of the July Vids

I updated my "Sailing the Time Tide in Pictures" page, with this video:

This is the last of the July workouts video:

&this is a July ¨She Cooks! 먹방 (&eats)!¨ video that I didn't edit or upload until today: