03 May 2022

Twitterless Tweeting 2022 March + April Edition

It (this, this thing I’m writing about now) dawned on me, not too long ago, that I am aware of tweets tweeted on Twitter despite the fact that I do not participate on the platform. I neither have an account nor do I tweet, but like Thena so masterfully whisper-proclaims in Eternals when confronting Ikaris, “But I’ve always wanted to.” 

Thus, it (again, this thing you’re reading here, now) occurred to me that I could tweet without Twitter, and so, here we are now—some Twitterless tweets from the months of March and April in the arbitrarily named year 2022 that I would’ve tweeted via Twitter if I were a user/abuser. 

The Twitterless Tweets of @DoesYourFirstScreenNameEmbarrassYou
“nullius in verba”

  • A robber steals—

a house with two homes.

  • I sat through the entire Spider-Man: What’s It Called, The Second One? No Third, The Third One, just so that I could finally watch the Dr. Strange trailer. 

  • my dilemma [this is it, this is all there is to the note in my notebook about this tweet]

  • sometimes you have to lie to get exactly what you need so that nobody finds out what it is that you want.

  • The bigger the phone (i.e. more expensive), the smaller (like penis size) the man. 

  • re the book Mother of Invention—The Conditions

If the argument is that women’s work is skill-less b/c it’s innate, then the argument could be made that men need to be paid more b/c of the effort it requires for men to acquire new skills, any skills, b/c men are inherently skill-less. 

  • Life’s guarantee is death.

Death is for the living.

To be human is to leave nothing 

but death, destruction and 

waste in your wake.

  • "On Dieting"

Tighter the budget, tighter the waste;

Tighter the waste, tighter the waist.

  • The smarter the phone, the dumber the man. 

  • The absolute truth of any corporate workplace that employs hourly-wage earners at the bottom (the majority of working people, fact, and yes, go searching for the actual average income for those who earn hourly, you will be shocked, fact), department managers, tiered corporate management, above them etc., is that for the on-the-ground workers on the bottom, seniority rules. And so, this structure works very well to create economic slavery. When seniority rules, more—perhaps meritocratic—workers have to literally wait for their department heads to die or quit in order to “work their way up” or whatever the saying is whenever a corporation attempts to present economic slavery as a ladder. This system is also designed to weed out the “too intelligent” or the “too hard working” because economically enslaving those who are less- or uneducated is much, much easier. Economic exploitation only works on an uneducated masses, and so, anyone who claims or affirms your thinking that college is pointless is no friend of yours. [What’s the character limit on Twitter these days?] 

  • On the Naming of People

  • If it tastes like shit, don’t buy it again. If he treats you like shit, don’t ride it again.

  • On the -ness of things (in two parts)
    • The “-ness” of something is really the physical manifestation of someone’s internal ideology. 
    • White Americans see Asianness in their grueling academic-rigor-like stereotypes and the hard-working perfectionism as militant aspiration. To Asians, we’re just Confucian. Asians, perhaps, see White Americanness as lazy, passive, overwhelmingly ignorant. The Whites, perhaps, see themselves as having “total faith” in their lord and savior, Jesus christ. 

  • I love how it’s trending these days to be uneducated. Like, people believe all these headlines about how “I didn’t go to college and I make $100K+ per year!” etc. is possible for them. LOL. It gives me great hope for all of my fellow future Capitalists of the world in their pursuit to exploit the working every-person. 

  • How did unoriginality become original?

  • If someone can’t help you get off the ground (i.e. from scratch), they are no help to you at all.

  • What do you do when you realize that a conspiracy-affirming nut job does not know what a conspiracy is; for instance, one time, one such person said, “The government is the biggest conspiracy of them all. Every part of the government is headed by someone who has their own agenda, wants to do their own thing. Conspiracy.” Later, I overheard someone else explain how Hollywood is a conspiracy because everyone is like second- or third-generation famous, to which I was very very tempted to ask, “Do you not know what nepotism is?,” which then made me realize this whole nonsense of “fearing the Right” is a waste of my time and energy. I no longer fear because to fear someone who is illiterate is to fear a child. Yea, sure, a child can still pull the trigger on a loaded gun, but that child is more likely to shoot someone in their direct proximity as opposed to creating a movement and destroying democracy as we know it. 

  • Fuck you, JT. (I guess I’d @ him at this point, but I dunno his handle)

  • "On Patriarchy" 

Men cannot take credit for their success, 

just like women cannot blame themselves for their lack of it. 

  • “Hyperconsummerism”
    • The Influencer
    • Marvel Studios
    • Lower-Earth Orbit as Amusement

  • Evil—the lazy man’s way to fame

  • If you’ve ever been labeled or found yourself under the heading “Person/People of Color” fear not

“... a dead person has no color.” —Cennino Cennini 

(p 229, The Secret Lives of Color, but which I actually renamed The Secret White Lives of Color, #sorrynotsorry [and I wouldn’t @ the author on a post like this, right?])

  • re $

One always hates that which

One seemingly cannot attain.

  • A Diorama (without the drawing)
    • Person A walks up to Person B and declares, “I’m better than you!”
    • Person B calmly responds, “No you’re not.”
    • Person A points and shouts at Person B, “Anti-Semite!”

  •  re “stop flirting with me”

@aoc Grow a pair. You were obviously not popular in high school if you can’t manage to sling a single zinger at the expense of some straight, white male with such an “enormous ego.” 

@elonmusk You’d be so lucky, cause why?, why would someone, anyone, flirt with you? Perhaps you were cute enough, back when you were young, to be an object of flirtation, but now, now you’re just fat and are—through one’s own self-proclamation, apparently—all-too familiar with how boners are lost. Pass. 

  • Money is really—really really—good at affirming who you are.