12 February 2022

In Good Company w/ Kate Middleton, Akwafina, and a coworker named ‘Something Really White'

 … one of these is not like the others … a series. 


re Kate Middleton

*coughs* uh yea, right, as if this common-born, anorexic Capricorn Colonizer “Likes” the idea that her hubby’s mistress could someday take her rightful place as “ queen” … LOL. 


re Akwafina

Yes, I understand cultural appropriation, which is why Nora shoulda never become famous in the first place, and yet, her fame (like all fame) is out of her hands, and so, why is she being canceled, while the people WHO HIRED HER go free? Someone else decided that a spotlight be shined upon Akwafina—that person was undoubtedly a white man. 

Of course, she rose to a place to be seen by mimicking by way of stealing the aesthetic qualities of people who are disenfranchised every single fucking day for being the way that she behaves for ... money, attention, fame (and laughs, one assumes). It’s an exploitative bastardization of creation, art, expression. And how is it fair that the decision-makers in charge (who made her famous and wealthy, btw) who made this terrible decision will remain, unscathed, in power to continue to make terrible decisions with regards to race and representation. 

In other words, Asians don’t have much by the way of opportunity when it comes to American entertainment, white or otherwise. In other other words, maybe Akwafina deserves a second chance if she can prove that she understands that she should have never accepted her fame on the pretense that her comedy (and thereby her representation) is propped up by those who are routinely disenfranchised by the behavior she’s paid to enact. If she can prove that she understands the problems surrounding her rise to fame—she changes, grows, has other talents than mimicry—then she ought to be given another chance to be better, do better.  

Or maybe she doesn’t, because maybe she simply deserves to be put out to pasture so that an opening can be made—in one of the eight?, five?, slots that have been "recommended" for Asian representation—for an Asian who already understands these things that she’s clearly been too lazy, ignorant or opportunistic to learn.


re “Something Really White”

“Tiffany, I heard that you’re Korean.” These were the first words out of the mouth of a young white coworker we’ll call Blank, directed at me, that landed in my ears. Before I could answer, I was immediately bombarded with her entire Asian history, “Where in Korea are you from?” And again, before I could answer, “My college roommate is Korean, so I’ve been to Korea. And my husband’s Chinese.” “Uh, yea, I’m Korean,” I managed through my teeth. (I’ll refrain from sharing the minutiae as I do not wish to linger on Blank too long.) A few weeks later I overheard Blank explaining to someone about how she speaks (a few words of) Mandarin because her “fiance” is Chinese. Then she tried to befriend me over our shared hobby—crochet, which I simply did not acknowledge because she’s a creepy stalker who knows shit about me without asking me (like the crochet) who then brings up these things because she knows I’m into them. She’s a gross, pathetic loser.  

Then she dyed her hair orange. All so petty, I know. It’s just so plainly obvious (if you’re Asian and know what I’m talking about) how badly she wishes she were Asian, but not because she loves Asian-ness, but rather, because to be Asian is becoming relevant. White is out. She eats sushi (which I hope she knows is Japanese, supposedly [if you wonder why I question this, look up what they did to Korea and Koreans, LOOK. IT. UP.]) regularly for lunch. 

The behavior that Blank—and others like her, like say, Kim Kardashian—enacts is what I am currently calling Race Relevance. They are revealing their racism by being keenly aware of which races “matter,” and therefore, they are determining how to procreate based off of what races their children ought to be in the future in order to remain “relevant.” Like, does Blank think that Koreans are half-Chinese, half-white people? Like a Chinese and a white have a baby and that baby is Korean?

I do not claim to have invented this term or even this idea. I simply haven’t come across whatever the official or coined term for this behavior is. And I am also apologetic if this is a term already ascribed to some other thing, and that the meaning of this/these thing(s) is vastly different. It sort of covers what I am attempting to describe, but I am, by no means, attached to the term, if I can even call it that. I assume that this is not a new idea and that it has already been thought of and developed by someone far more educated than myself on the matters of race, especially in America. 

My point is that there’s nothing I like about Blank, and there’s little to nothing to appreciate about Kim K. 



Bonus Member!

Yo, Billie Eilish (unworried about the sp., too lazy to look it up). Sure, “Trav” may or may not have understood the severity of the tragedy he willingly or ignorantly brought forth, but YOU, you—you ignorant cunt—are capitalizing on said tragedy. Feel good up there on your high horse pointing down on the already beaten, sucking social cred—that will inevitably turn into real dollars—that you are siphoning toward yourself in the wake of the death of multiple people in a serious tragedy? Do you even realize what you have now done, you dumbfuck? Go fuck yourself.

 #whydoesanyonefuckingcareaboutthisilliterateteenager