She cheated; she did the work and studied!*

I had other plans for this writing today, but then, I woke up consumed with the "event" that happened to me literally seconds before I stepped into a secured testing room to take the January 2025 LSAT. 

I know how this whole thing is going to sound if you're White, Woke-white, and Not-White. Mostly, it will sound like an excuse, some "out" for whatever my test score ends up being. I will not know my test score until the score is released on the release date, at which point the school I hope to attend will also know. Thus, at this time, I do not know my LSAT score. I have no idea what it even might be. And so, my telling of this story is not intended as an excuse for whatever outcome comes. My relaying of the thing that happened to me is for everyone out there who looks just like me, namely, youngish (under forty, although, I am only barely under forty), asian, female, women, living in These United States. And if you think that I'm somehow happy to have had this experience to write about and share to this fucking website, please, as kindly as you can to yourself, GO FUCK YOURSELF.

What happened to me, literally, as I was walking to be wanded (metal-detected) before entering a secured testing facility to take the January 2025 LSAT was a microaggression brought upon me by the ONLY WHITE WOMAN OVER THE AGE OF THIRTY IN THE ENTIRE FACILITY. To be fair, she looked totally torn up about the situation after it was realized. Nevertheless, the thing happened, and then I walked into a secured testing facility and took the LSAT. 

First off, if you've never tested in a testing facility, then you're going to have to use your imagination. If you have tested in a testing facility, then you're probably familiar with the testing-proctor Prometric. We, the bodybuddy/lifemate&i, were familiar with Prometric, because the bodybuddy/lifemate, back during the happy-covid times, took the CFA Level 1 test at a Prometric testing center in Longmont. He described it to me back then, and we never thought of it again, until, literally, two months ago when I started all this nonsense. 

I was excited that I could take the test in-person at a testing facility. I knew what to expect, and I was prepared.

The thing about these testing facilities is security. They MUST be able to assure their clients that all of these tests are taken by the people who say they are taking it, that nobody cheated, etc., etc., etc. And so, everyone checks in with an ID, signs stuff, and is assigned a locker. I was the first person to check in that day (even after going to the bathroom before checking in), and the older white woman was the first person I saw, and then a younger asian-looking woman saw me and walked toward the check-in desk. I'm not going to lie, I felt an immense feeling of relief. I informed her that I was taking the LSAT but wondered if I could use the bathroom really quick before I check in. The younger asian woman smiled at me, and said, of course. I did not have to enter the secured area of the testing facility to use the bathroom.

We don't have a car. We could've used the bus system, easily, but I walk my ass to my job every night, and it wakes me the fuck up, so we walked. We walked to the testing center from our apartment. We walked for about an hour. I had to pee real bad. I was nervous as fuck, and I had a plan for test week, and we were following the plan. I had a plan for Test Day, and we were following the plan. We even knew that we'd arrive at Menstruation Station on Test Day. (I went to bed last night thinking that I was going to write a whole post about the final weeks leading up to Test Day, and detail every day of test week, but then I woke up needing to write about this, and so, that post will have to wait, but it will be written.) 

I had to pee, and I just had to start late. Please! For the love of Ladybug, please just let this be a cycle that starts LATE! Or EARLY! Just, like, please not on time. PLEASE! Come Test Day, I hadn't started, and luckily, I did not start that day. I share this because I find GenZ to be inspiring in this way. I also share to really flesh out the full complexity of my mind-state as I sat for the fucking January 2025 LSAT! Fuck! How we can even hope to compare the test scores of men and women is fucking laughable to me! Fuck you!

Anyway, everything was going great, in that department. I peed, then checked in. 

Like I said, I saw the white lady, and I couldn't pinpoint her purpose, so I pushed her from my mind, like everyone else in the facility, and prepared myself for the test. 

Fifteen minutes before test time, I went to the bathroom one last time. I really didn't want to have to go during the test, obviously. So, I went one last time, composed myself, and got in line to be wanded. As I was walking to get in line, the white lady approached me, and said something to the effect of, "Oh, hi, so I will be your proctor today, and you've got this nice private room all to yourself." My mind was in fifth gear. I was mentally prepared to take the fucking LSAT. I saw everything, and the first thing I saw was the paper in her hand, and I caught a glimpse of the name on the sheet of paper. I told the white lady, "Oh, I'm not taking a paper test," to which she responded, "Oh, I know." And then I knew this white lady was confused. I immediately removed her from my mind as the young asian woman called me in to get wanded. The white lady followed next to me and the young asian woman said, "Oh, no, this isn't her." The white lady looked horrified, and I was in no state to console her. I brushed off the entirety of the situation as the young asian woman walked me through the rest of the process, and then through the doors into the secure testing room, where she showed me my desk, and told me what to do. 

&then, I took the fucking January 2025 LSAT.

Greatness is not a flex
Being Great is Who You Are

If you have no idea what I went through this day, consider yourself white, of some variety. The reason, from my perspective, the interaction is considered a microaggression is because, sure, maybe the white lady mixes up all people. Maybe she's just old and she mixes up white people, too, and sure, white people do get mixed up, but it's not a joke like it is to mix up asian people. It's true. We do all look alike, IF YOU DO NOT KNOW MORE THAN ONE ASIAN. 

Here's the thing: I fucking live in fucking Honolulu, Hawai'i. Hawai'i is a state with a population that is MAJORITY ASIAN, and the ONE WHITE LADY OVER THE AGE OF THIRTY that I had to interact with on this day mixed me up with another asian. The only solace I've been able to find is in the fact that I glimpsed the name on the paper, and the person in question is a korean woman, or at least, a woman of korean descent. (i didn't see the first name, and since we all checked-in in an area where we could easily overhear each other's names, i do not feel that it's an issue that i saw her last name.) Also, fun fact, I saw about a dozen other test takers that day. Two were male asians, and one was a white female. ALL OTHERS WERE ASIAN WOMEN UNDER FORTY; my comrades in arms! 

White people are relentless!

Even in a state with a majority asian population, whiteness can still attack us in the most unlikely of ways. 

In the end, I feel no spiteful feelings toward that white lady. She looked so distraught the other couple times I saw her throughout the test, and she was smart enough not to open her mouth at me, even though she was staring. I could feel her sending me good vibes, so that was alright. She wasn't trying to tear me down or sabotage me. I'd be a complete narcissist if I thought that. I also wouldn't have been able to push her from my mind so effectively if I thought she was personally attacking me. Her problems have nothing to do with me. I'm just collateral damage of her whiteness. Par for the course. I also have no desire to report her in any official way, because it's possible that she helped me out by lighting me on fire.

This is all rumination after the fact.

She reminded me why I was there. She represented everything that I'm fighting against and for all at the same time. She forced me to remember why I was even doing this.

I'm joining the fight. 

And honestly, I think I'm going to Rule the World some day. 

*it is my hope, my one true wish, that if you are a hot, high-achieving asian female who grew up in america, you maybe have not heard these exact words accusing you of your greatness, but you have experienced and do understand words that have induced this analogous feeling, and if my hope and wish is true, then i'm here to remind you that fulfilling your greatness is not some flex or brag, it is you being YOU, and it is my opinion that if someone doesn't like this or has to tear you down, they're proving you correct, and no, nobody really gets to go along with you, but we will all hopefully find each other along the way or at our pinnacles. *sail on*

re January 2025 LSAT (law school admission test) Eve &the DAY-OF (after the fact) #sailorsphlog

*

this was me
minutes after finishing the January 2025 LSAT
in-person at a testing center
i was totally shook immediately after the test
so the bodybuddy/lifemate gently pushed me through 파리바게뜨
where we got some stuff
&then we looped back around to the front courtyard-esque area in front of the building
in which i took the January 2025 LSAT
&this is how i felt at that moment
&even as the bodybuddy/lifemate was trying to
"turn that frown upside-down"
he snapped this pic
&i am so happy
i love this portrait of myself
it's perfect
for reasons that i will eventually cover in a sailor's log post
that i will hopefully have the energy for
in the very-near future
*peace*

*about a week ago, this "dead" plant revealed itself to be alive, not-dead, &the leaf fully unfurled on LSAT Eve.

LSAT Part One: Done

there are two parts to the LSAT
&there are explicit guidelines
about how one ought not share any detailed information
about this portion of the test
(or any portion of the test, really)
&so, i shan't
&since i'm not entirely sure where the line is
i've decided not to share anything at all
aside from these pics i snapped when it was all said &done
#sundayfunday

[updated 14jan25 | this portion of the LSAT has been approved
as of 13jan25] 

&the musubi, too loosely strapped in by its nori, slips off its spam in joyful delight that it will not, in fact, be food, today *cheers*

"No, you don't understand. It's not that she was being mean, she was being bitchy," she explains.

Ladybug looks at me with its annoyed face, then returns its attention to her and shrugs, "Explain to me the difference."

She takes a deep breath in, annoyed, as usual, "The difference is when a woman is being mean to you, you did something to her or whatever. When a woman is being bitchy, that's on her. She's being a bitch at you for reasons of her own that may or may not have anything to do with you." 

Ladybug considers this with a rub of its chin, "Sure. So, she was being bitchy?"

"Yes!" she hollers, and then, "She was being all agro at me whenever we would have to interact, which was nearly every day, but then"

Ladybug cuts her off, "Wait, wait, wait just a minute. What the fuck is ag-grow?"

"Ugh," she eye-rolls, like I said, annoyed, as usual, "It's like when someone is being all aggressive, too aggressive or like aggressive in a situation that doesn't require any aggression." 

Ladybug nods, "Okay, sure, yes, she was being a bitchy agro."

"No, Lady," she sighs, "Ugh. Okay, whatever, yes, she was being all bitchy and agro."

Ladybug claps its two top feet together and rubs them together in feigned delight, "Okay!"

"No, this is a sad story," she throws her head back in anguish, annoyed, "Whatever. Just like, stop interrupting."

Ladybug agrees with the motion of locking its mouth shut and throwing away the key.

She takes a deep breath in, "She used to be all bitchy at me and all agro whenever we would interact. We don't have to interact much, maybe just like once or twice in passing and not every day."

Ladybug looks confused and looks like its about to say something when ... 

"Don't!"

Ladybug sits back on its haunches and tries to hold an air of nonchalance, then flicks me a look of nastiness, "I am not being nasty, Lingerer!" 

"Forget it," she stands to leave.

Ladybug deploys its wings and positions itself right in front of her face, "Nooooooo. Tell us the story. Please. Just tell us!"

"Then shut the fuck up! Both of you!," she shouts.

Ladybug is taken aback, "But ..."

"I know! Just stop it!" she demands.

a breeze blows by ever so softly &on the air rides the tale

She didn't even know this lady; she had never even officially met her, but it was obvious that the lady had an opinion of her. "If the lady is just like this," she thinks, "then she's one seriously miserable cunt." She obviously didn't know what she had done to cause such treatment by a lady she didn't know or even have to interact with much outside of a few pleasantries as co-jobbers. Their job paths didn't cross, and their positions were unaffected by whomever's rank/seniority, etc. For one whole year this went on, the lady being bitchy, she being nice and confused. It's difficult to continue to be nice to someone in the face of their harshness, but the reality of the situation was that she hadn't done anything to this lady, and so, perhaps, this is simply the lady's demeanor, and she accepted this.

&then, another half of a year went by.

&then, the lady said the oddest thing to her, in passing, one early morning as she was signing off, the lady signing on, "Oh, I heard that you're Korean!" "Yes, I am Korean," she confirmed. "Oh, well, have a great day!"

&then, with an accent the lady smiled and chuckled, "안녕하세요! 감사합니다!"

She was, obviously, so confused, and for the next week or so, the lady was so nice and friendly and warm, and she was, obviously, fucking pissed, As a woman from the Philippines, the lady is now being so friendly to me because I'm Korean? What did the lady think I was before? And why, when being something else, was the lady such a bitch, but now that I'm Korean, she's being so nice?

&then, another week passed.

&then, one day while jobbing, the lady shouts over the noise at her, "Someone told me that you were Filipino and that you speak Tagalog." 

She chuckles, "No, I'm Korean, and I don't speak Tagalog."

&now it's today, and she hasn't seen the lady again, yet, since the new piece of information was delivered, but some conclusions can absolutely be made, none of which bode well for the lady, so to your own imagination are you left with, today, dear reader.  

some shots of some studious shit

2024 New Books for our Reference Library

Dictionary of Law | Merriam-Webster 

The Constitution of the United States of America and Other Classic American Documents | Fall River Press

Nexus: A Brief History of Information Networks from the Stone Age to AI by Yuval Noah Harari

Antigone by Sophocles, translated by Richard Emil Braun

10 Best Tales of Korea & 10 Best Tales of Infinity: Special Premium Edition by Sohyun Moon

Chineasy Everyday: Learning Chinese Through Its Culture by Shaolan 曉嵐

MacKenzie Scott's 2024 Giving* to Eight Hawai'i-Based Organizations

(out of a total of 199 GLOBAL organizations! EIGHT organizations are in Hawai'i!)

via Yield Giving

&yea, obviously, Scott is "concerning," in the best of ways, of course

&sure, the worst of ways if you're a capitalism-as-usual [read: greedy-ass mother-fucker]

capital-bee Billionaire *barf*

Hawai'i Community Lending

Kīpuka O Ke Ola

Waimānalo Health Center

Council for Native Hawaiian Advancement

We Are Oceania

Purple Mai'a Foundation

Kuaʻāina Ulu 'Auamo

Kōkua Kalihi Valley

*&yea, i obviously have my opinions about this sorta shit, but she's really treading into territory that i am already laser-focused on, so, i could feel really good about myself, or i could feel really bad about the state of hawai'i for Hawaiians *ugh*

^..^

 

all i do is 공부, 공부, 공부해요
*weeps*

Sailor's Log | a some thoughts on some stuff edition (plus some law school application updates at the start of week ten)

re a figuratively Swift & Lively kick to the figurative nuts

so ... generally speaking, i think that celebrities are a profound waste of time, as a topic of thought, and then, when especially considering the, um, whiteness of the particular celebrity in question, why the fuck would i give two fucks about any of this? well, unfortunately, for her, the problem, the same problem her "famous pop-star friend" also suffers, is one wherein these women are, let's just say, not quite smart enough to understand the difference between:

"as a woman, i was also created equal to men and so, have exactly as much entitlement as any man to be given a fair shot."

and

"as a woman, if you don't do what I want, you're a misogynist and need to be destroyed."

&remember, they could be speaking to a man or a woman in either of these scenarios. 

the perfect, most-awesome irony (and my support of the claim that they are just. not. quite. smart. enough.) is that they are simply role-reversing misogyny. since they're both a bit stupid, it shouldn't be a surprise that they're confused about feminism, most stupid people are confused about feminism and misogyny. so mostly, the woman in question (and her famous pop-star friend) is (are) confusing being misogynistic as being feminist. they think, for some reason, that simply directing misogyny at a man, they're being feminists. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHH!!!!! oh my god, i nearly choked. 

sure, we could all be proud that these women are powerful enough to "wield their feminism like a weapon," but look at the targets they have chosen. the movie star is literally trying to tear down a man who was trying to make a movie about domestic abuse. if the movie star was a real feminist, wouldn't she fight for something like, say, a female director, before the fact, instead of trying to ruin some man, after the fact? the pop star literally set in her sights, THE MAN WHO MADE HER. like, what the fuck? sure, you obviously don't owe him anything, but why must he be destroyed?

"oh but, i'm a woman, which means that I'M THE VICTIM!"

"as a woman, if i don't get EXACTLY WHAT I WANT, i will DESTROY YOU (men and women alike!)!"

really? as wealthy, famous, white women, YOU are the victims? get over yourselves. you're not embodying the definition of feminism; you're exemplifying what it looks like to be a CUNT.

obviously, there are real stories of women who are real victims, and the other ironic part is that the movie that caused all of this nonsense is supposed to be about that, and yet, here we are, discussing the famous movie star, because that is to whom the famous movie star is directing our attention, herself. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! fucking hypocunt! 

like, don't get it twisted. i obviously think that it's awesome that women, no matter who they are, are powerful enough to give swift and lively kicks to the nuts of men the world over. the problem is that stupid women seem to be unable to accurately pinpoint the most-useful targets, which ends up making all of these "feminist" efforts all about them, which, in the end, reveals them to be, perhaps, endowed with an excessive ego, which, again ironically, makes them just like any other man, which, when given the context of the men in their sights, these women are taking on men who have been giving women a shot, namely, them, and so, these two women are taking down men, on their side, and that other terrible men would love to see go away. like. duh.

fighting for more women (feminism) looks very different from fighting for fewer men (misogyny), and i just feel like you've gotta be some "prize-idiot" to be confused by the difference. 

re some thoughts on some stuff

i really thought that i had some more stuff to write about, and i did, but now, i can't remember, probably because i didn't really care. i think the stuff was mostly about the consumables i've been consuming, and so, it's all pointless nonsense. i hate talking about cultural commodities, nevertheless, i do consume them. 

mostly i've been consuming mediocre xmas flicks and shows. there have been a few exceptions this year, but since the genre is so ... blech ... i don't care enough to put any thought into it, so i guess i'll just list a few notable watches. if i have a comment, i'll comment.

Finding Mr. Christmas (Hallmark show)

the gender reversal for this sorta thing is absolutely fantastic. it was a phenomenal watch from start to finish.

Home Alone (um...)

a terrible fantasy being played out by both young boys and mothers alike. the boy thinks/dreams that he could "hold down the fort" all alone at the age of eight. the mother wants nothing more for christmas than for her children to want nothing more than her for christmas. 

Hot Frosty (Netflix)

a seriously fun premise that really did the job!

Last Holiday (Paramount Pictures)

the fantasy seems to be that the average jane has enough money to live like a billionaire for a week. BAHAHAHAHAHA! and that as an average jane, she knows what the billion-dollar corporation needs. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! cause she's so down-to-earth! BAHAHAHAHAHA! it's a truly great sentiment, and i genuinely enjoyed this one, cause like, i could see the workings of the fantasy so clearly. 

Love Actually (internationally co-produced)

this is one seriously fucked-up movie, especially when considering that keira knightley was only SEVENTEEN when she was cast as one of the characters who GETS MARRIED! *barf* the older i'm getting, the more i'm realizing that it's not "love" that's "actually" all around us; it's, actually, forgiveness, which is not love. love is selfless. forgiveness is all about the self. needless to say, this is the last year i'll have consumed this film.

It's a Wonderful Life (um...)

the economic reality that makes the happy ending happen is the economic reality that created the situation in the first place, which means that if those people who "so generously" gave their money to bailey as a "gift" simply paid their bills, like they're supposed to, none of this would really be an issue. yea, sure, the $8K was lost, but again, it was the error of an idiot, not the greedy miser. the old greedy miser was simply handed a newspaper with money in it. there is no moral or ethical dilemma. why should the idiot get off simply because he's an idiot? if the people hadn't selfishly hoarded their money instead of paying their bills, the $8K wouldn't have been such a blow. the fact is that bailey's a loser. it's problematic to me that the community props up a loser. it reminds me of all the press surrounding a certain wnba draftee who had just finished her collegiate season the literal loser. white americans love white losers. also, the entire premise that he had so much impact completely disregards the lives of EVERYONE ELSE. who's to say that one of bailey's brother's friends wouldn't have saved him? huh? you're saying that mary wouldn't be attracted to one single other man? look at the ego on you! *vomits*

&finally, (according to my stats) we've arrived at the topic for which all of you who tune in, tune in.

if you're waiting around for Draft 3, don't hold your breath. because i job in retail, these next two weeks are the craziest fucking weeks at my fucking job. the only thing i have time to focus on is the LSAT. fortunately, i am diligent and nailing down those first drafts has really brought clarity to what i want my personal statement to state, but the actual wording for the thing is back-burning. i'm very specifically trying to not-give it any attention, because i need to put up a solid score on the fucking LSAT. i have time after the fucking test to work out all of the other writing stuffs.

*huff*

the word is consistency. with regards to this fucking LSAT, i am nothing if not consistent. &this is strange, for me; i am a different person than i used to be. my two practice tests have resulted in exactly the same practice score, in exam mode. my drills improved at an incredible rate over weeks 8&9. i am now consistently able to answer 75% of the questions correctly. i even cracked 78% in one of the reading comprehension drills *yikes* the issue is, obviously, one of speed. i feel very confident in my ability to answer ALL of the questions correctly, given however much time i need, lol. i don't need that much more time, maybe like ten minutes. not that i would answer all of the questions correctly; i would have a chance to answer them all correctly with more time. 

*sigh*

in the end, i cannot be disappointed in myself or anything like that, because i clearly understand the material. about half of the questions have obvious answers to me, at this point. half of the other half either take too much time to figure out or they are a bit too complicated for me to grasp without like twenty minutes for this one question alone. the other half of the other half requires a little work, and i can get there fast enough. &none of this is a problem. the LSAT lessons specifically state that some of the questions are literally too hard to figure out in the time allotted, and the lessons specifically instruct you to SKIP THEM. you can literally miss some questions AND get a 180 (the highest LSAT score). 

like i said, i've taken two practice LSATs in exam mode, and i performed EXACTLY THE SAME on both of them. i am confident i can answer a little more than half of all of the questions correctly. where i want to be, however, is at the place where i am answering three-quarters of the questions correctly, and i CAN do that, just not under the time constraints. so, practice, practice, practice *eyeroll* i'm becoming my worst, most-least liked type of person ... a studious student. yes, that's correct. i've never really had to study for anything in my life. okay sure, i always did the work (except when i intentionally didn't once i hit college), but i never studied hard. i could do the work once, and then that was that, i got an A. i either always answered all of the questions correctly or i missed one. missing multiple questions, like four or half is just painful in ways i never knew existed. nevertheless, the trend is upward, so no complaints. 

luckily, the process has all been pretty straight-forward, but the LSAT is anything but straight-forward. it is in one sense: the lesson material is breaking it all down for you, if you study it. it totally isn't in another: the material within the LSAT itself is anything but straight-forward.

i'll admit it; it's hard; there, i said it out loud, &the fact that it's hard is what makes me feel stupid. &the bodybuddy/lifemate has to constantly remind me that, yes, the LSAT is hard. i'm not stupid; the LSAT is hard. GAH!!!! it would just like be a lot easier to be a genius, and then the bodybuddy/lifemate reminds me that knowing everything before you know to know it is not what makes someone a genius, &then i love/hate him a little bit. UGH!!!

&apparently, i've not really done anything intellectually "hard," which is surprising both me and the bodybuddy/lifemate. mostly me, cause, according to the bodybuddy/lifemate, "I know how smart you are." thus, it is I who does not know *sigh*

week 9 saw the opening of the test dates, and i had to painstakingly commit to a date&time. i have also found a space that will hopefully be approved for my argumentative writing. i can do this portion of the test at my leisure, in an approved space, sometime between 07Jan25 and when i take the test (i'm not entirely sure when i have to submit this portion by, but i know that it must be submitted before my score is released, so i'm just going to get it done before the multiple-choice portion of the test that i've opted to take at a test center). the argumentative writing is not part of your LSAT score, and so, i'm not even going to do any practice tests until after the new year. i am a writer, after-all (i'm thrilled at the prospect of using my "lawyer voice;" don't worry, i'll try it out here, probably soon thereafter), &this is literally the craziest time of year for my night-job in retail, so i can only do what i can do!

this means that i will take the LSAT during the January 2025 testing dates. once i've done the test, i will have two weeks to hammer out the rest of my application. i have maybe 2,000 words or so to complete all of the required elements of the application, and as a writer, i could smash out 2,000 words in a few hours, so two weeks is no sweat. 

everything is so great, and i'm so so happy! i guess that's all from me for this one *smile emoji*

oh, except, &then there's this one thing that happened, on the first day of week 9. it was on the first day of week 9 that i did a practice drill, &on that drill i literally only answered three questions correctly. i had a total melt down for the entirety of the day. luckily, it was a sunday, so i wallowed and wallowed and wallowed the entire day away.

during this wallowing, the bodybuddy/lifemate was saying any and everything his little soul could think of to snap me out of it, and one of the things he said was about how even the best NBA players have had zero-point games. i, obviously, did not believe him, &his words did not cheer me up. at some point i gave up, &that was what made me feel better. i let it all go. i was done. i dropped all expectations of myself and wallowed in my own disappointment in myself. the only thing i could think to do was just go on, now knowing that there's zero hope in my doing well, or at least, doing as well as i want. so i went through the rest of the week in a calm sort of stupor, accepting that i am not as capable as i thought that i was. if i am accepted into law school, it'll be because i just barely made it, but making it is making it. 

&then, the most miraculous thing happened. 

curry and draymond had a zero-point game, during the SAME GAME. technically curry put up points, two free throws, lol, but draymond put up zilch. the bodybuddy/lifemate was right, and it happened exactly when i needed it to to have its most relevant impact. sorry guys. i've known for a while now that i am a witch, but i had no idea i was this powerful. 

also, when i took a second LSAT practice test in exam mode at the end of week 9 (when i performed exactly the same as the first time!) i had a tiny meltdown at my computer, cried for a minute, then sat on the toilet and whimpered for a minute. while whimpering there, my own mind came up with a way to ease itself, for like the first time ever. i had the thought, "i'm nothing if not consistent," which is unusual for me. i've always lacked consistency. as a mutable fire sign, yea, consistent is not the way that i or others think of me. &so, i found myself really surprised by this new piece of evidence. obviously, two is too small a sample (ugh, these LSAT lessons are killing me! if you know, you know), but when also considering all of the drills i've done, yea, consistent is the word. &it feel strangely good.

ONWARD!

Until treasure we find, sail on!