03 February 2024

The Brown One & The White One | a comparative analysis that is, really, all about Kris Jenner, lol.

Okay, so we've finally arrived at this dreaded post wherein I write a comparative piece about two celebrities. I'd honestly not-write about either of them, but their so-called relevance in pop culture is undeniable, and they could not be more antithetical to each other.

[DISCLAIMER: I do not like Kim K or T Swift. I loathe them equally. Nevertheless, they are to be respected as important people to the overall future well-being of society at large as powerful, prominent, rich women of the 21st century. I would, obviously, include all powerful women, but I have too much respect for some of them to ever write critically about them, etc., and so, my comparative analysis will begin and end with these two, and since I so thoroughly do not enjoy either of them, I will refer to one as The White One and the other as The Brown One {Kim K was recently a Jeopardy! clue in a category about Armenians, etc.}.]


There's a thing called a "seamount." Some seamounts are active volcanoes and become islands, but what makes a seamount a seamount is that it doesn't quite reach the surface. Thus, I am going to utilize this idea to paint the picture that I'm trying to communicate with words. Officially, a seamount does not breach the surface of the water, and thus, does not become an island. Nevertheless, in my mind, all active, underwater volcanoes, are seamounts until they breach the surface as a volcanic island, for argument's sake.

With this idea, let's analyze the White One. 

She was born into nothing, really. Although, I've heard conflicting stories about how her father "invested" (read, encouraged with money) $300,000 into the record label that first recorded her music. Even though that is technically a lot of money, there are a surprising amount of United Statesians who have this kind of cash, think doctors, lawyers, etc. She was born, figuratively, on the ocean floor.

This is nothing compared to the Brown One's upbringing. Comparatively, the social status into which the Brown One was born far outweighs a mere $300,000 investment, making the White One, quite poor, relatively speaking. Thus, the White One embodies that go-get-em Dream of the United Statesian America. The Brown One, born on a then-dormant seamount, a continuation of that Dream.

Some hazard lights begin to blink in the distance, and then you pass a sign that reads "DETOUR AHEAD."

I've been seeing some threads on Threads with the theme of the United States not being the "only America," like, there are a lot of American (as in the continents North and South) countries, which means that there are more Americans that live not-in U.S. America than actually lives in the United Statesian America, but for the sake of this writing and having to repeat over and over again, United Statesian, I am going to refer to the "best" America, as the USA. bahahaha! jk, like relax.)

You hit a bump, and the road returns to its sleep-inducing thrum. 

The American Dream. 

The White One is the embodiment of the American Dream. The Brown One is a continuation of The Dream lived by the person to whom she was born. The outlier is Kris Jenner. KJ (if I can call her that) is the reason why the Brown One has succeeded, and anyone who thinks differently or does not understand KJ is a complete and utter misogynistic fool. KJ was/is a social climber who pulled herself into relevance. And she also did it with her pussy, although in a different way.

Entertainment is a fickle thing. Think about the ocean. Every once in a while, something will pop up upon the surface, and we can all see it and look at it, and talk about it while it's visible. Once that thing either runs out of air or becomes too bogged down, it sinks below the surface, and we don't see it anymore, and thusly, no longer care about it or whatever. 

The Brown One popped up to the surface when that sex tape made her famous. But she was just bobbing along like a beach ball atop the surface of fame. Knowing that entertainment fame is fleeting, KJ got to work, and she worked her ass off. KJ is the revival of the once-dormant seamount upon which the Brown One was born, churning away beneath the rudderless, substance-less fame of the Brown One's sex tape. KJ is not stupid. She understands the entertainment industry. KJ knew that the Brown One's success depended, fully, on whether or not KJ could successfully build an empire under the fleeting moment of fame that the Brown One experienced. And it worked. KJ lit up that dormant volcano until it breached the surface, and now The Brown One sits solidly, comfortably upon the island, above the surface, that her father started for her and with which her mother breached the surface. And KJ built one big enough to support all of her daughters. Fucking, RESPECT. 

The White One, however, came to fame through popularity, and thus, her so-called fame is really like a hotspot under the ocean keeping her on top of the surface, and what the White One has built is more like a raft, a Peruvian island of Lake Titicaca, if you will. Her popularity is like a hot water spout keeping her atop the surface, but there is really nothing of any substance supporting her fame. And however the ocean's currents decide to pull at her, she must morph. As a Sagittarius, this has been an easy thing for the White One to manage. Nevertheless, the problems that face the White One are ones of both sustainability and relevance. Most entertainers age out. Most entertainers don't make good entrepreneurs. Most entertainers have astronomical expenses. The White One, like the Brown One, works a lot, because they do not have $1,000 expenses, they have $100,000,000 expenses.

Trust me, you do not want to HAVE TO make $1,000,000 to support yourself. *barf*

So, yes, they are both in the same sorta camp, financially. 

They both have empires to run.

They both have people to please.

They both have massive expenses. 

The difference, however, between the Brown One's expenses and the White One's expenses, is that the Brown One has far greater latitude. Since KJ, the genius, was able to build that seamount into an island under the Brown One, the Brown One has real enterprise opportunities. The Brown One is in the position to hire the White One as an entertainer for one of her enterprises. The Brown One has elevated out of the entertainment sphere, and can do whatever the fuck she wants. She's sitting on a goddamn island. The White One is stuck within the sphere of entertainment, on a raft, which, as I've stated earlier, is a fickle thing, and nothing is beneath her except the hot air of her fans on the bottom of the ocean blowing hot air up at her to keep her relevant, sustain her fame.

What to make of any of this? 


I loathe both of them equally, and I respect them both, one more so than the other (Kim K), but there's respect there for both of them. 

Oh, and who am I to declare my respect and think that anyone should care?


This is all meaningless, and I'm the one who's spending my time writing about it, not you, so go fuck yourself. 

Happy Saturday ^..^