15 March 2022

In Good Company w/ Ed Sheeran/Dua Lipa, ‘Duke’ William What’s-His-Face/Vladimir Putin, Jane Campion/J.K. Rowling, and Seth Meyers/Amber Ruffin

… I typically do not do these so frequently, but the headlines have been a doozy over the past few days, and no, re the “Duke of Cambridge” and Vladimir Putin, I am not directly comparing the colonialist words spoken by the “Duke” to the MURDEROUS CRIMES of Vladimir Putin—this is an exercise in writing and philosophical/ideological comparison—obviously, as this is a little online space wherein difficult things cannot be easily discussed, and yet, I try and try again, in this futile series, one of these is not like the others. 

re Ed Sheeran/Dua Lipa (sp?, dkdc)

Apparently, they are each being sued, individually, due to copyright issues, and if you read some of the things that Sheeran has said while on the stand, you’ll understand that this motherfucker does not write music so much as begin with a track of someone else’s making and then tweaks it. There’s a gross colonial undertone to both of these cases, and it’s because they are both Britons—meaning they see themselves as inherently superior to the “others” of the world—that I make my case for their view of the world being such that they can take whatever they want from it and “make it mine.” 

re the “Duke of Cambridge” William the Wannabe “Conqueror”/Vladimir Putin

Whenever anyone has a title of superiority that makes them feel as if they a) are the civilized and b) are the geniuses, the only outcome is that of maniacal narcissistic egotism. In the case of Wills, he views Europe as being civilized and war being unheard of in modern Europe, which is false, unless you do not consider certain parts of Europe to be Europe. Sure, the words he spoke were not that of a direct comparison with Asia and Africa, like mistakenly thought, but the implication is there. Why did he have to specify Europe? And his obvious education in some alternate history has made it painfully clear that he’s a dumbfuck. The other piece of evidence I hold for Wills’ dumbfuckery is that his family is—the whole shtick is that they are—charitable? Is that what it is? Cause it’s awfully strange to tax one’s “subjects” as one’s “income” and then call giving that money back to them charity. Hmm.

And Putin is not someone about whom I will speak intellectually because I cannot. All I can say is that it seems like Putin exists in some past echo chamber. I could not decide whether it is worst if Putin is a genius with a master plan or if Putin is a dumb-as-shit rage monster. The latter is worse, somehow. 

re Jane Campion/J.K. Rowling

Two British Commonwealth White Women (or BCWW if anyone else wants to chime in on other white women of this ilk, British Karen, if you will) who equate their white privilege-filled white privileged white lives to the disenfranchised minority women of the world upon whom the privilege of their white privilege-filled white privileged white lives is built. FUUUUUUUUUUCK. YOU. 

re Seth Meyers/Amber Ruffin

Aside from the obvious—that they are American—Seth Meyers is doing his part to create equal opportunity, which is what equality is all about! And Amber Ruffin is an original.